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When an American bushwalker falls into an unexplored gorge, he must help his three companions escape a ravenous arachnid humanoid to survive.
"american" has no place here (read my review of your australian theme park theme). I understand you are trying to explore the M.I.T.H. genre but I recommend you to read again the blake snyder chapter about genres. You have to find a new way to combine the formula. Bushwalker, already seen too. GiantRead more
“american” has no place here (read my review of your australian theme park theme).
I understand you are trying to explore the M.I.T.H. genre but I recommend you to read again the blake snyder chapter about genres. You have to find a new way to combine the formula. Bushwalker, already seen too. Giant insect, already seen. Wild natural setting, already seen. You should struggle to find at least 1 element that bring something ‘new’ to the formula. Or a new combinationo f some old elements. But the most difficult is to build a logic in the whole concept. It’s not about ” a libanese cook must escape from the AmazonTM warehouse before robot Hitler kills everybody”: I’ve never seen this before but it’s plain s**t.
Come on! I’m sure you can write a killer logline.
See lessWhen robots run amuck in an historical theme park, a shy Chinese boy must battle robotic Australian icons to save the lives of his classmates.
Hello, your loglines are not bad, in my opinion they share the same problem: all the elements should be linked by some organic links. For exemple, why the boy should be chinese? why not french? or italian? this detail is not linked to the rest of the story. For exemple, if it's about a theme park abRead more
Hello,
your loglines are not bad,
in my opinion they share the same problem:
all the elements should be linked by some organic links.
For exemple, why the boy should be chinese? why not french? or italian? this detail is not linked to the rest of the story. For exemple, if it’s about a theme park about japanese mangas, the main character could be a fanboy who is now forced to fight his beloved characers. Or, in an ‘american historical fathers’ theme park’ a history professor could be the main character, forced to kill robot lincoln etc… The opposite logic could work too: an arachnophobe must fight giant robot spiders to overcome his deepest fear.
What interests you in your story? The chinese boy? So think about a theme park who fits your character in some way. The australian historical park? So find the most compelling character to face the australian Icons (I have no idea what australian Icons could be, this could be a problem for the understanding of the logline).
The other loglines you have pubished share the same problems. They’re ok for a low-than-the-average b-movie. Ther could be some genius in the movie -if it will ever be produced. This kind of average plot could be produced if It comes from an established production company, but if you’re writing on spec, than you should try to do your best to make each logline you write absolutely the best. I must say “wow” when I read it, not just “not bad”. Anyway, “not bad” is a very very good starting.
See lessA starving gnome terrorizes a Japanese teenager and a bus load of Japanese tourists for their trunk of delicious sushi after their tour bus breaks down in the Canadian wilderness.
You can describe your main character with one adjective.
You can describe your main character with one adjective.
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