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An inexperienced rookie detective operates undercover in the Berlin nightlife to solve the mysterious vanishing of disco visitors until he himself becomes a victim of physical and psychological abuse.
It starts well, but the last part is too vague... Try to tell what is the inciting incident (the beginning of the investigation ot the detective being 'abused'). And try to be specific about what you mean by 'abuse'. One last advice, you can cut 'mysterious' - vanishing implies a mystery.
It starts well, but the last part is too vague… Try to tell what is the inciting incident (the beginning of the investigation ot the detective being ‘abused’). And try to be specific about what you mean by ‘abuse’. One last advice, you can cut ‘mysterious’ – vanishing implies a mystery.
See lessOut on his own for the first time with no family or support, a mentally-challenged man with impulse control problems must overcome his limitations and face a series of cruel and indifferent characters as he chases his dream of a “normal” life.
I kind of remember this logline, and it still makes me think of Bad Boy Bubby (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106341/). I join the previous comments when they said that it's too vague, it lacks specificity. Your logline could apply to Bad Boy Bubby and Beign There (where a simple minded gardener who sRead more
I kind of remember this logline, and it still makes me think of Bad Boy Bubby (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106341/). I join the previous comments when they said that it’s too vague, it lacks specificity. Your logline could apply to Bad Boy Bubby and Beign There (where a simple minded gardener who spent all the life in a garden explores the outside world after his master’s death).
See lessI think this archetype of the fool can still generate excellent movies, including your movie: you “just” have to make some creative decisions and nail the main elements in a coherent and original structure.
300 years ago, the Penitente rose from the ashes of the Pueblo Revolts. Today Diana believes her family’s dark past has caught up to her when the body of a crucified man is found in the desert.
Hello, in my opinion,?in a logline everything must be clear... I have no idea about what the Penitente is, nor the 'pueblo revolts'. Ans it's a common 'rule' to avoid names (such as 'Diana') because they mean nothing so they are a waste of precious words. Have a look on the training page on this verRead more
Hello,
See lessin my opinion,?in a logline everything must be clear… I have no idea about what the Penitente is, nor the ‘pueblo revolts’.
Ans it’s a common ‘rule’ to avoid names (such as ‘Diana’) because they mean nothing so they are a waste of precious words. Have a look on the training page on this very website.