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When a harmless prank and a mystifying homicide collide, two men decide to run from the police to figure out who set them up. Their camaraderie shatters when one ends up in jail and the other one suddenly has a flawless alibi. A relentless detective keeps unravelling the truth behind a remarkably twisted story that keeps on washing up new suspects at every turn.
Hello, you can improuve you're logline beeing more specific. "Two men" is absolutely vague... what men? This is an important detail to define the story. Make clear who is the main character, the running prankers or the detective? You have to choose and write the logline from his point of view. MakeRead more
Hello,
you can improuve you’re logline beeing more specific. “Two men” is absolutely vague… what men? This is an important detail to define the story.
Make clear who is the main character, the running prankers or the detective? You have to choose and write the logline from his point of view.
Make it one sentence.
And, very very important, never say things like “unravelling the truth behind a remarkably twisted story”. This is very unprofessional, believe me 🙂 A logline tells the story. It’s not a recipe for the story (‘there will be compelling characters, unbearable suspence and a shocking unforgettable?ending’).
One last thing,
See lessthe idea of a prank that collide with a real murder is interesting, but i feel like it’s the first 15 minutes of the movie, then we have a classic “i’m innocent, find the real murderer” movie- there’s nothing wrong with this structure but I would appreciate if the “prank” theme is stressed and take over?the whole movie, because this is what is strong in your idea. Something like “when two prankers are framed for murder they must use their prank genius to con the police while looking for the true murderes”.
When a planet in another galaxy is faced with annihilation, a plan hatches to have Franklin, an ordinary boy with extraordinary abilities from earth, help save the planet from destruction from the evil being known as Xero.
Hello, don't forget to avoid names in the logline, names means nothing. https://loglines.org/howto/
Hello,
See lessdon’t forget to avoid names in the logline, names means nothing.
https://loglines.org/howto/
When a conservative man adjusts to life in a wheelchair, he suddenly finds it difficult to achieve an erection. Snubbed by his busy, self-centered wife, and desperate to reclaim his virility, he must use something he hasn?t in years: porn. (Short Film)
Hello, I think it's a good idea for a short film, just make sure to work the logic... if the man can't have an erection, porn isn't a solution. Maybe it's just because he can't have an erection for his wife that he needs porn. Avoid the word "man"... be more specific. Make clear what is the incitingRead more
Hello,
I think it’s a good idea for a short film, just make sure to work the logic… if the man can’t have an erection, porn isn’t a solution. Maybe it’s just because he can’t have an erection for his wife that he needs porn.
Avoid the word “man”… be more specific.
Make clear what is the inciting event – the wheelchair or the wife snobbing him?
and make clear where is the source of conflict (or there is no story: a man is snobbed by his wife, he watches porn -end of the story) ?You can make the logline shorter, something like:
“When a conservative teologist on?a wheelchair is snobbed by his wife, he’ll find that to acces porn isn’t easy as he thought”, if the story is about a man on a wheelchair who need to access porn (visually, what action take place in the story).
Psychologically, I won’t put the blame on the wife, maybe it’s the man who feel unconfortable on his wheelchair and feels like he can’t love anymore, like he’s inadequate (a more complex character).
See less