Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Pitted in a spiritual batle against their evil cyborg uncle and his dark, sinister master, two spiritually gifted twin seek solace as they fight to avenge thier mother’s murder and find fabled elemental orbs.
Agreed with Richiev and Nir, so many of these elements seem to be randomly placed into the story. Not saying it won't work on some level, but for this logline, it really is a mouthful to read. What about thise orbs are important?
Agreed with Richiev and Nir, so many of these elements seem to be randomly placed into the story. Not saying it won’t work on some level, but for this logline, it really is a mouthful to read.
What about thise orbs are important?
See lessWhen a devastating drought threatens to annihilate his people,a boy finding himself in a magical world, where a holier-than-thou general has conquered the makers of the rain, must device battle plans to topple him from within and without, to save his world.
Avoid the MC "finding himself" somewhere. He should be "thrust upon" the danger instead. You have some good unique elements in this paragraph that can be cherry-picked and organized a bit smoother. Drought. Restoring the magical makers of rain. A vulnerable boy traveling to this land to face off agaRead more
Avoid the MC “finding himself” somewhere. He should be “thrust upon” the danger instead.
You have some good unique elements in this paragraph that can be cherry-picked and organized a bit smoother.
Drought.
Restoring the magical makers of rain.
A vulnerable boy traveling to this land to face off against a general who “hates rain?” Not sure why that is.
See lessAfter a space piracy witness and two cops are publicly murdered, the Senior Investigator must escape from the murderer and solve the piracy case before his family or more cops are killed
What is the setting for this adventure? Is it contained on a spacecraft somewhere? Cause then we can begin with murders occuring there and our investigator is contained with the murderer in that space -- makes things more dangerous that way.
What is the setting for this adventure? Is it contained on a spacecraft somewhere? Cause then we can begin with murders occuring there and our investigator is contained with the murderer in that space — makes things more dangerous that way.
See less