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When her older sister disappears with a mysterious stranger, a loner teen and her newly sober mother embark on a precarious road trip to find her.
Mysterious or stranger. No need for both words. Then you describe the teen as a loner who is now embarking on trip with her mother -- nothing loner about that.I'd suggest adding something unique or compelling about this stranger.Also, add more about the road trip, maybe where and why it's dangerousRead more
Mysterious or stranger. No need for both words. Then you describe the teen as a loner who is now embarking on trip with her mother — nothing loner about that.
I’d suggest adding something unique or compelling about this stranger.
Also, add more about the road trip, maybe where and why it’s dangerous and then of course, add the time element — this must be completed before….
See lessA police detective accused of murder must find his biological mother who gave him and his twin brother up for adoption at birth, to find his twin brother, the real murderer, to clear his name.
If you are playing with the idea that the cop(protag) has to figure out if he himself is doing the killing, or if his twin(antag) is doing it, then I think you are giving away way too much in the log. A confused cop struggles to cope with the evidence that suggests the murderer is none other than hiRead more
If you are playing with the idea that the cop(protag) has to figure out if he himself is doing the killing, or if his twin(antag) is doing it, then I think you are giving away way too much in the log.
A confused cop struggles to cope with the evidence that suggests the murderer is none other than himself.
But this still is missing something.
See lessWhen the Mafia takes over a small town cemetery, an underachieving gravedigger must unearth their criminal activity or end up six feet under.
Hmmm. So why does the Mafia care about a cemetery? You may want to include some stake that's bigger than we may assume. The rest is clever. Perhaps add a ticking time bomb element to this.
Hmmm. So why does the Mafia care about a cemetery? You may want to include some stake that’s bigger than we may assume. The rest is clever. Perhaps add a ticking time bomb element to this.
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