1. Posted: August 29, 2017In:

    An uptight business man races against the clock to find a way out of purgatory or risks to lose his life.

    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter

    But who is he really battling in your story? There should be some humanized figure that he must interact with to eventually beat in the end.

    But who is he really battling in your story? There should be some humanized figure that he must interact with to eventually beat in the end.

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  2. Posted: August 29, 2017In:

    Ex-Priest struggles against the Devil to prevent his just started B&B into a portal to Hell.

    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter

    Fandango, This is confusing. Try to assist your writing a bit so that the read flows better. An ex-priest battles the Devil in order to prevent his newly formed ?????? into being used as a destructive portal from hell.

    Fandango,

    This is confusing. Try to assist your writing a bit so that the read flows better.

    An ex-priest battles the Devil in order to prevent his newly formed ?????? into being used as a destructive portal from hell.

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  3. Posted: August 29, 2017In:

    When an accident causes his little sister to be tormented by an evil creature only she can see, a know-it-all teenager must recreate the accident to help her. (28)

    Foxtrot25 Uberwriter

    I would avoid giving away the part about how she's the only one that can see the creature.

    I would avoid giving away the part about how she’s the only one that can see the creature.

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