1. Posted: September 3, 2019In:

    A guy asks 100 people “Which comedian is going to land on his feet and get his end away with an absolute cracker?”? You said, “Les Dennis,” our survey said, “Ding, top answer!” Jammy bastard.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    Is this supposed to work like a "guy walks into a bar" joke? It reads like spam mail generated by a bot. Seriously, what gives?

    Is this supposed to work like a “guy walks into a bar” joke? It reads like spam mail generated by a bot.

    Seriously, what gives?

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  2. Posted: September 4, 2019In:

    A NASA space drone pilot discovers a mysterious wormhole in space that could lead to preventing the deaths of his family three years previously.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    Richiev:When he discovers a wormhole in space that could prevent the deaths of his family three years prior, a NASA drone pilot must? (Then tell us what he does about it)I agree with Richiev. You miss the 3rd element of the logline, the ACTION (see the formula, here).CHARACTER: a NASA drone pilot.EVRead more

    Richiev:

    When he discovers a wormhole in space that could prevent the deaths of his family three years prior, a NASA drone pilot must? (Then tell us what he does about it)

    I agree with Richiev. You miss the 3rd element of the logline, the ACTION (see the formula, here).

    CHARACTER: a NASA drone pilot.
    EVENT: He discovers a wormhole.
    ACTION: He has to send the drone into the hole.

    Wait, what? Why is he a drone pilot? Major McConaughey must get his own ass in the hole. Otherwise what is the big deal about this movie’s action?

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  3. Posted: September 6, 2019In:

    When a transgender black woman kills a mentally ill murderer, she is put on trial for life, the jury, who vary from rich to poor to caring to prejudiced,? are caught up in a spiral of grey areas – and a case that exposes the increasingly mad world they live in.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    I didn't get the whole revenge thing. Unless you changed the logline, it nowhere states that she killed a friend's killer. Curate your paragraph a bit. Cut words down. Edit. Clean up your syntax. Don't elaborate on how diverse the jury is. It's a jury. Show us that the protagonist is (in) the jury.Read more

    I didn’t get the whole revenge thing. Unless you changed the logline, it nowhere states that she killed a friend’s killer.

    Curate your paragraph a bit. Cut words down. Edit. Clean up your syntax. Don’t elaborate on how diverse the jury is. It’s a jury. Show us that the protagonist is (in) the jury. Don’t mislead us to think that it may be the woman.

    Write a couple of words about that protagonist. Are they a man or a woman? Are they black? Are they cis or trans? In a case against a black trans woman, a Henry Fonda protagonist would be soooooo patronising.

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