1. Posted: September 24, 2018In:

    When abducted because of his secret, a clumsy teenager with acidic semen must save himself and a porn actress from the set and crew of a deranged snuff film director.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    Version 1.1 (shorter): When abducted because of his secret, a withdrawn teenager with acidic semen must save himself and a porn actress from a deranged snuff film director.

    Version 1.1 (shorter):

    When abducted because of his secret, a withdrawn teenager with acidic semen must save himself and a porn actress from a deranged snuff film director.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: September 24, 2018In:

    REVISED: When her beloved grandma passes away, an estranged young woman must find a way of fulfilling her grandma?s last wish while struggling to reconnect with her dysfunctional family at the funeral.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    We should know what the last wish is. It is no secret, right? And, since it will be driving the whole Second Act, it should be right in the logline."Reconnecting with the family" is not a specific goal. There has to be a specific action that has "reconnecting" as a subtext.When her grandmother dies,Read more

    We should know what the last wish is. It is no secret, right? And, since it will be driving the whole Second Act, it should be right in the logline.

    “Reconnecting with the family” is not a specific goal. There has to be a specific action that has “reconnecting” as a subtext.

    When her grandmother dies, an alienated celebrity actress must help her mother kick her crack habit, in order to fulfil the deceased’s last wish.

    OK, I probably stole something from Postcards from the Edge, but you get the point.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: September 23, 2018In:

    An inner-city terrorist attack traps a disgraced former politician and an anarchist student protestor in an elevator on the 67th floor of a burning building with little hope of help. When suspicion of each other’s involvement in the incident arises, they are forced to re-examine their assumptions about each other and cooperate if they want to survive.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    The film sounds like a buddy movie with two buddies who hate each other, but have to work together. Something like Hell in the Pacific, but in a burning building. Or perhaps a crossover between Hell in the Pacific and Die Hard (terrorists in a building). However, what is the main action that they arRead more

    The film sounds like a buddy movie with two buddies who hate each other, but have to work together. Something like Hell in the Pacific, but in a burning building. Or perhaps a crossover between Hell in the Pacific and Die Hard (terrorists in a building).

    However, what is the main action that they are expected to perform?

    1. exit elevator
    2. exit building
    3. game over.

    I would expect that step (1) would require some minor actions and (2) would have unexpected complications; perhaps terrorists are still in the building?

    But there should be something more specific than “work together.” “Work together” could be something as simple as one pushing the other up through the hatch above their heads -and then the film ends.

    Note: You know that it’s way to long for a logline, don’t you? -58 words or so. (Bravo, Richiev, for doing a great job chopping it down!)

    See less
    • 0