1. Posted: September 22, 2018In:

    A simple disagreement in a gas station results in a store manager being brutally murdered. A dubious employee can’t accept the official explanation and asks one too many questions, sparking a series of events that could ruin him completely.

    Best Answer
    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    What's the "official explanation?" Try something like: When her boss gets brutally murdered, a gas station clerk must ...?

    What’s the “official explanation?”

    Try something like:
    When her boss gets brutally murdered, a gas station clerk must …?

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  2. Posted: September 21, 2018In:

    In her journey for truth, Billie Malone rebuffs the family trait of entitlement and privilege by getting a job at the very same media company that sees the family name above the door: entitled she is not.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    Please, simplify. Not only will it help us understand what you want to say, but -most importantly- it will help you figure out your idea's flaws.

    Please, simplify. Not only will it help us understand what you want to say, but -most importantly- it will help you figure out your idea’s flaws.

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  3. Posted: September 21, 2018In:

    REVISED: When her beloved grandma passes away, an estranged young woman must find a way of fulfilling her grandma?s last wish while struggling to reconnect with her dysfunctional family at the funeral.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai

    You have to be more specific. What is the catching up about? Why is it important? That's the films big action? Just catching up? Don't be vague about what she must do in an entire film! Create characters. Who died? It must be important to the protagonist. Also, the protagonist herself; "estranged yoRead more

    You have to be more specific. What is the catching up about? Why is it important? That’s the films big action? Just catching up? Don’t be vague about what she must do in an entire film!

    Create characters. Who died? It must be important to the protagonist. Also, the protagonist herself; “estranged young woman doesn’t reveal character.

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