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On the brink of a new type of technological and societal global war, a charismatic figure rises through the political sphere using Social Media as he faces adversity from those who would profit from a war succeeding.
Inciting Incident: When wars erupt...Main Character: ... a Man rises up...Main Action/Objective: ... to bring Peace.The "post-technological change," although I am not sure what it means, makes me think of a post-apocalyptic setting. Post-technological means that technology is over, right?Other thanRead more
Inciting Incident: When wars erupt…
Main Character: … a Man rises up…
Main Action/Objective: … to bring Peace.
The “post-technological change,” although I am not sure what it means, makes me think of a post-apocalyptic setting. Post-technological means that technology is over, right?
Other than that, though, I get no sense of what the movie is about.It could be about any war in any part of humanity, with any leader trying to bring peace.
The same with “the Man” who rises for peace. Anything more specific, please?
Finally, the action: “bringing peace” is not a visible goal with a clear end-point. Does he need to convince a General to cease fire? Does he need to kill a deranged monarch? Does he need to educate the people? I dunno, you need to tell us and put it in the logline.
Also, if it’s Sci-Fi, you should put it under that category, not “Drama.”
See lessFamine in rural Ireland forces a loving father to make a dark deal with a pagan spiritual entity to feed his family. When the bond is broken he must choose between losing his child or his soul to settle his debt.
Re Nir Shelter's:After a famine hits their Irish village, a father must strike a deal with a demon in order to feed his family.I object. Written like this, it looks as if "striking a deal" is the action that the protagonist is trying to achieve throughout the Second Act. Instead, "striking the deal"Read more
Re Nir Shelter’s:
I object. Written like this, it looks as if “striking a deal” is the action that the protagonist is trying to achieve throughout the Second Act. Instead, “striking the deal” is probably the actual big event that sparks the Second Act.
From where I see it, what the protagonist is trying to achieve throughout the Second Act is to get out of the demon’s contract.
Also, I will argue that we need to know the demon’s price, which will indicate the stakes and the conflict.
Thus:
There is something bothering me with “finding a way to break the contract” as a main action, because I am not sure what kind of scenes or sequences it provides. Does the father investigate the demon’s backstory, as in The Ring, for example? Does he look for an exorcist, as in?Drag Me to Hell? Not sure what writer Jonathan intends to do.
Jonathan, I love the concept, though.
See lessAn emotional wreck of a country singer must bring his daughter whom he has never met with him on tour, when her mother goes into rehab for a few weeks.
Commenting on this version: After her mother goes into rehab, a girl is all alone and must join her emotionally damaged and estranged country singing father on tour or she?ll be placed in foster care. How do you envision the movie's Act II? Let's say that she joins her father's tour. She is being drRead more
Commenting on this version:
How do you envision the movie’s Act II? Let’s say that she joins her father’s tour. She is being dragged around the US, attending all his live performances, tolerating his “emotionally damaged and estranged” behaviour. What is she struggling with? Is there a visible goal for her in the story? When does the movie end? Is there a deadline for being cleared of foster care? Is her 18th birthday approaching?
Also: “girl” means a lot of things and a lot of ages. It is very general. Can you give us a hint of her psychological profile?
Here is my version, with random psychological elements (which may be totally irrelevant to your story, but you get the point):
(I don’t think the style of music matters.)
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