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An estranged couple decides for a last-chance counseling retreat in a forest just to meet a therapist who reveals their secrets that should rather have remained buried
I've decided for some bigger changes: - The story has a surprise turn at the end. Therefore I checked the loglines of movies like Se7en, Antichrist, The Sixth Sense. All of these loglines reveal the general storyline, but they won't give away their big surprise. - On the "psycho" (very well shorteneRead more
I’ve decided for some bigger changes:
– The story has a surprise turn at the end. Therefore I checked the loglines of movies like Se7en, Antichrist, The Sixth Sense. All of these loglines reveal the general storyline, but they won’t give away their big surprise.
– On the “psycho” (very well shortened by dpg) I decided to remove it straight away. Loglines that usually focus around the psycho (e.g. for movies Scream, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Friday the 13th, Se7en, The Silence of the Lambs, Saw, The Blair Witch Project, The Omen, The Ring) are pushing the killer or the killings in the frontline of the story, I would say they are murder-heavy. On the other hand, the loglines of movies like Antichrist, Shine, Rosemary’s Baby, Psycho put more emphasis on circumstances and/or hints leading to the cruel events and psycho characters. Of course I will keep the masked man with his killer dog in the story!
– Hiking is also removed, what remains is the counseling retreat in the forest. Of course the hiking will remain in the story, I just felt it is not necessary in the logline.
So basically I tried to distinguish the logline from the synopsis. I feel that the logline does not have to give you all elements of the story, that is rather the task of the synopsis.
Let me know your thoughts! (And I hope you are not shocked by the big change!)
See lessAn estranged couple decides for a last-chance counseling retreat in a forest just to meet a therapist who reveals their secrets that should rather have remained buried
Hello everyone! Thanks for your great and very valuable comments! I am very excited to see that you seemed to be hooked to the story by the logline! A producer's dream! :-) But you are way too optimistic about the story's resolution! :-D I will now think about all the advice and try to reformulate!Read more
Hello everyone! Thanks for your great and very valuable comments!
I am very excited to see that you seemed to be hooked to the story by the logline! A producer’s dream! 🙂
But you are way too optimistic about the story’s resolution! 😀 I will now think about all the advice and try to reformulate! Looking forward to your further comments!
See lessAfter his family is kidnapped and sold to English slavers by renegade Fante tribesmen, Ashanti tribal warrior Mwabo embarks on a perilous voyage across the Atlantic to the sugarcane plantations of modern day Jamaica in search of his wife and son, where he leads a slave rebellion against the tyrannical white masters to reclaim his family's freedom and liberate his fellow Africans from the misery of enslavement.
Wow, great support coming here from dpg. Interesting how difficult it is to push the story from the synopsis into the logline as the author, and how valuable a fresh pair of eyes can be!
Wow, great support coming here from dpg. Interesting how difficult it is to push the story from the synopsis into the logline as the author, and how valuable a fresh pair of eyes can be!
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