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When college student, David Piersall, accidentally kills his girlfriends younger brother, his mistake brings the forces of the supernatural down upon him.
Really like it, I think it sounds interesting and could be really original. My only suggestion on improving the logline is to give the main character a goal. After he kills the younger brother and brings these forces upon himself, what is his goal? Is it to destroy them? To use them to his own will?Read more
Really like it, I think it sounds interesting and could be really original.
My only suggestion on improving the logline is to give the main character a goal. After he kills the younger brother and brings these forces upon himself, what is his goal? Is it to destroy them? To use them to his own will? By adding this fact it just makes the story and journey a little clearer.
See lessAlso it wouldnt even hurt to maybe be a little more specific on what the forces are, that is if there is a specific name of type. If you have trouble keeping the word count down for the logline after adding this stuff you can always exclude the name of the protagonist. This isnt really needed for a logline.
Just a thought, hope it helps.
While posing as a street person at night to scam people, a conniving ad executive is faced with his greatest fears when he loses everything and becomes homeless himself!
really interesting idea. I just think that you should say why he becomes homeless, rather than just saying that it happens. This would then be the inciting incident right?
really interesting idea. I just think that you should say why he becomes homeless, rather than just saying that it happens. This would then be the inciting incident right?
See lessAn undesirable Sexaholic who struggles to have sex meets a fellow, female, sex addict who teaches him other dangerous methods to starve off his addiction.
"An undesirable sex addict struggling with his addiction meets a female sexaholic who teaches him more dangerous ways to satisfy his lust"
“An undesirable sex addict struggling with his addiction meets a female sexaholic who teaches him more dangerous ways to satisfy his lust”
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