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Seven year old JR nearly unwishes his talking Teddy Bear, Threadbare Fred Bear, until Fred (his guardian angel in disguise) takes him on a trip through the wishing tunnel, dodging wishes coming true, until they reach The Wish Factory where they watch elves, angels and The Big Guy manifest hopes, dreams, wishes and prayers.
Is your story a 115 pages screenplay, or its a short story for 60 pages, 10 pages? What is a story goal? To watch how is main protagonist taken by an angel into wish factory where he watches elves doing their job? There is no plot which I would like to watch in that. Seven year old boy's wish turnsRead more
Is your story a 115 pages screenplay, or its a short story for 60 pages, 10 pages?
See lessWhat is a story goal? To watch how is main protagonist taken by an angel into wish factory where he watches elves doing their job?
There is no plot which I would like to watch in that.
Seven year old boy’s wish turns his teddy bear into a killing machine and to stop him massacring his own family , he has to get into elven wish factory and destroy it.
The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power amidst political intrigue and a coming war.
Your logline just identify the setting - the situation on the beginning and what's at stakes. But it does not tell a story. Identify an antagonist (not necessarily a person), but there is that missing "so he must - "
Your logline just identify the setting – the situation on the beginning and what’s at stakes. But it does not tell a story. Identify an antagonist (not necessarily a person), but there is that missing “so he must – “
See lessA disgruntled, older woman sets out to erase all signs of her recently deceased husband, but when his ghost shows up, she discovers a truth that changes everything.
Its a nice concept, but I sort of miss the moment "and then she must ..." that should be at the end of it. What's at stakes? What it changes? "She discovers a truth that changes everything" can be put into one sentence: "she discovers a shocking truth and now she must - "
Its a nice concept, but I sort of miss the moment “and then she must …” that should be at the end of it. What’s at stakes? What it changes? “She discovers a truth that changes everything” can be put into one sentence: “she discovers a shocking truth and now she must – “
See less