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When a socially inept nerdy teen falls for the newest cool girl in town, he must battle her 7 evil exes before he can date her.
HAHA, hopefully one day! :-)
HAHA, hopefully one day! 🙂
See lessA lifeguard struggles to cope with his wife?s suicide, his ethics are tested when he discovers her rapist drowning at the local beach
Hey Andrew - I like this ... rolls off the tongue much easier. But if you decide to use this structure, then start it off with "As a lifeguard..." "As a lifeguard struggles to cope with his wife's suicide, his ethics are tested when he sees her rapist drowning at the beach." I think you need to replRead more
Hey Andrew – I like this … rolls off the tongue much easier. But if you decide to use this structure, then start it off with “As a lifeguard…”
“As a lifeguard struggles to cope with his wife’s suicide, his ethics are tested when he sees her rapist drowning at the beach.”
I think you need to replace “discovers” since it implies finding something new, like an internal motivation or external obstacle. In this case, he simply “sees” the rapist drowning.
And I would axe the “local” adjective – doesn’t provide any additional information, so shorter is better.
I’m interested in reading more about your storyline – sounds like your main character is going to experience some REAL turmoil and hatred.
See lessWhen a socially inept nerdy teen falls for the newest cool girl in town, he must battle her 7 evil exes before he can date her.
Hey Scott! You need to flip your posting - put your logline where your name is and vice versa. :-) But here's my impression of your logline: "A Nerdy teen must battle 7 evil ex-boyfriends of his one true love" (original posting) At first glance (that is, without reading it), I LOVE IT! Concise! AlwaRead more
Hey Scott! You need to flip your posting – put your logline where your name is and vice versa. 🙂 But here’s my impression of your logline:
“A Nerdy teen must battle 7 evil ex-boyfriends of his one true love” (original posting)
At first glance (that is, without reading it), I LOVE IT! Concise! Always an A plus! Golden rule is to keep your logline to no more than one sentence, so you’ve hit that nail on the head.
BUT it’s too concise in the sense that we’re not shocked or knocked on our backsides. It’s a bland and common plot: weak boy gets beat up and bullied in order to win the love of his dreams. In this case, he’s up against SEVEN! That sounds like a lot of the same thing.
Without the luxury of knowing your storyline, let’s bat this around a bit and loosen up its muscles. For instance, what is the nerdy teen risking besides life and limbs? What’s so special about this girl that she has seven “evil” ex-boyfriends? And why are the ex-bfs “evil”? And what would happen if the nerdy teen doesn’t win over this girl? Does his life just go on, same old, same old? There needs to be a compelling NEED/WANT/DESIRE for him to risk it all. If you can answer those questions, then we’ll be well on the way to shaping your logline.
Which movies would you say closely resemble your plot? And what’s the theme?
And the title “C-Bomb” doesn’t reveal much about the story? Can you briefly explain the significance of it?
Let’s wrap this puppy up with a shiny new bow and throw it back in the front window ready to be sold. 🙂 Thanks!!
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