1. Posted: March 4, 2016In:

    The hunt for a spy takes a twist when an innocent bystander in a public park is mistaken for a government agent. (short film)

    kbfilmworks Samurai

    Many thanks, guys. The comments are much appreciated and very useful.I think I need to offer a few details in order to respond to the various issues that've been raised.The setup is presented by way of a prologue that also serves as the logline:(Newly revised version) An innocent bystander finds himRead more

    Many thanks, guys. The comments are much appreciated and very useful.

    I think I need to offer a few details in order to respond to the various issues that’ve been raised.

    The setup is presented by way of a prologue that also serves as the logline:

    (Newly revised version) An innocent bystander finds himself in grave danger when a spy mistakes him for a government agent.

    There?s a group of 4 people in contained environs. One of them is a spy and one could be a gov?t agent out to get him, but at the outset they both remain unidentified.

    The dramatic questions that drive the narrative are: who is the spy? who is the gov’t agent?? and who is the innocent bystander that gets mistaken for a gov’t agent?

    The point being that – in the real world – it?s practically impossible for the casual observer to recognize an espionage professional at work. And sometimes, under extreme pressure in a game of kill or be killed, the paranoia that is part of the spy’s requisite skills can lead him or her to believe that a random face in the crowd is a member of the opposing team.

    In the last scene, after the others have left, the innocent bystander is found murdered. How do we know he?s an innocent bystander and not a gov?t agent? Because a man who is identified as a gov?t agent turns up after everyone has left and he says so.

    We never learn the identity of the spy, so it remains?a mystery.

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  2. Posted: March 5, 2016In:

    When a cynical surgeon renounces his ancestral ties with a cabalistic tradition, he becomes the target of a dark force and must battle a phantasmagorical creature unleashed by the dark force to destroy him and everything he holds dear.

    Best Answer
    kbfilmworks Samurai

    Hi there Chidi,It's also the function of a logline to give an idea of how the story unfolds - in terms of the main action.So, what is your hero's main action? Is it 'breaking and entry' or does he do battle with the creature in order to save his family?It's for this reason that the first part of theRead more

    Hi there Chidi,

    It’s also the function of a logline to give an idea of how the story unfolds – in terms of the main action.

    So, what is your hero’s main action? Is it ‘breaking and entry’ or does he do battle with the creature in order to save his family?

    It’s for this reason that the first part of the original? logline – “after he renounces ties with his cabbalistic… ” – is essential to the logline.

    But you need to go beyond this statement and give the actual reason why he renounces his ties and that reason needs to be something intriguing that relates to his family or a member of the family.

    As of now, the agoraphobia is a side issue in regard to the logline.

    Hope this helps.

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  3. Posted: March 4, 2016In:

    The hunt for a spy takes a twist when an innocent bystander in a public park is mistaken for a government agent. (short film)

    kbfilmworks Samurai

    Thanks, dpg. Very incisive question, as usual.The hunter/government agent is the protagonist. Although we don't meet him till the last scene, his need drives the narrative. The innocent bystander is unaware that his identity has been mistaken until it's too late to act. The spy/antagonist is never iRead more

    Thanks, dpg. Very incisive question, as usual.

    The hunter/government agent is the protagonist. Although we don’t meet him till the last scene, his need drives the narrative. The innocent bystander is unaware that his identity has been mistaken until it’s too late to act. The spy/antagonist is never identified.

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