1. Posted: February 28, 2013In:

    After waking up human, the former Angel of Darkness recruits a supernatural team to steal Pandora's Box from Lucifer.

    mmckean

    There is too much going on in the log line. My main question is what kind of redemption this former angel of darkness is after. Is he stealing Pandora's box thinking he will somehow get into heaven? Is he stealing it to try and take back Lucifer's throne? This is a key detail because it drasticallyRead more

    There is too much going on in the log line. My main question is what kind of redemption this former angel of darkness is after. Is he stealing Pandora’s box thinking he will somehow get into heaven? Is he stealing it to try and take back Lucifer’s throne? This is a key detail because it drastically changes the tone of the log line and the movie. Hope this helps 🙂 Sounds like a pretty cool film either way though.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: February 28, 2013In:

    When his pregnant wife is murdered, a grieving husband must kill the man responsible before joining her in the afterlife.

    mmckean

    This sounds like an interesting idea but something is definitely missing here. Im re-reading it to try and figure out what it is.... I guess it just sounds a bit cheesy.... Ok, here is the thing I've noticed with it: The guy's pregnant wife is murdered, which is terrible, but he is already going toRead more

    This sounds like an interesting idea but something is definitely missing here. Im re-reading it to try and figure out what it is…. I guess it just sounds a bit cheesy…. Ok, here is the thing I’ve noticed with it: The guy’s pregnant wife is murdered, which is terrible, but he is already going to be joining her soon in the afterlife and that takes away from the ‘cool’ factor of the film. With vengeance films like this you want the viewers to say “jeez, I would totally want to annihilate that guy!!” so I would leave out the afterlife thing because it lessens that feeling a bit. Besides, he will surely see her in the afterlife anyways eventually, unless he is a demon or something.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: October 19, 2012In:

    When Mouse, the smartest girl in school, and social outcast falls for the head cheerleader, Kat Sanders; She will have to pull every trick in the book to win her, the only trouble, Kat doesn't even know mouse exists… and likes boys.

    mmckean

    I think this story has potential. Keep working on the log line and you may have a very marketable movie to pitch :)

    I think this story has potential. Keep working on the log line and you may have a very marketable movie to pitch 🙂

    See less
    • 0