1. Posted: November 2, 2017In:

    When an exiled prince unexpectedly becomes ruler in a foreign kingdom, he must make dangerous alliances if he is to survive the vampire Emperor who murdered his parents.

    moviefreak81 Samurai

    Hmm no, I can't have the prince exiled to be inciting incident, as it happened when he was a baby.? Another take:"When an exiled prince unexpectedly becomes ruler in a foreign kingdom, he must marry a trecherous king's daughter if he is to survive the vampire emperor who murdered his parents."WhileRead more

    Hmm no, I can’t have the prince exiled to be inciting incident, as it happened when he was a baby.? Another take:

    “When an exiled prince unexpectedly becomes ruler in a foreign kingdom, he must marry a trecherous king’s daughter if he is to survive the vampire emperor who murdered his parents.”

    While the “vampire emperor” might have come from nowhere, I’m stuck as to put it in the inciting incident with the time difference and without bloat the logline…

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  2. Posted: November 2, 2017In:

    When an exiled prince unexpectedly becomes ruler in a foreign kingdom, he must make dangerous alliances if he is to survive the vampire Emperor who murdered his parents.

    moviefreak81 Samurai

    But if their parents were killed 10 years? ago, it can't be the inciting incident.

    But if their parents were killed 10 years? ago, it can’t be the inciting incident.

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  3. Posted: October 31, 2017In:

    When a famous tennis player have his wife murdered by a psychotic socialite he met on the train, he needs to prove his innocence in a crisscross murder he never agreed to.

    Best Answer
    moviefreak81 Samurai

    Thanks dpg, one thing does do substitue the other. One can't learn how to paint or play piano or any other craft without actually doing it, and by learning other loglines posted here is a good complement. Based on Foxtrot 25's post: One thing that is becoming clearer and clearer to me is that for ouRead more

    Thanks dpg, one thing does do substitue the other. One can’t learn how to paint or play piano or any other craft without actually doing it, and by learning other loglines posted here is a good complement.

    Based on Foxtrot 25’s post: One thing that is becoming clearer and clearer to me is that for outsiders pitching, one there is some sort of limitation regarding the story format, so the logline and hook gets very clearly across a single sentence. It’s not a huuuuge limitator in my view, but I think the more the writer is aware of the boundaries, closer it is to a great logline/idea…

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