Never start with “When” or “After”. Readers don’t care about situations, they care about the people in those situations. Start with the protagonist, then define their status. Giving us all that information up front about the circumstances before even mentioning the person dealing with them is delaying your point of empathy and merely setting up exposition. It’s uninteresting and a bad way to format a logline.

Also you’re giving us too much information, things we don’t need. The logline is just supposed to get us interested in reading more, not spell out all the details of the script. We don’t need to know she’s just entered domestic service; it’s irrelevant. She meets him, it’s a given; it doesn’t matter how…not here, not yet. Just give us the protagonist, antagonist, conflict, stakes, and do it in 25-30 words. This is 44 words, because you’re including way too many steps and separate actions: she entices, to convince, to survive, and adopt…it just goes on and on without adding any meaning. Keep it short and clear and simple.

“A compassionate Papuan native girl must convince a terminally ill spoiled rich boy to ignore modern medicine and receive ancient holistic treatment in her village.”

That’s everything we need to know, in 25 words. Save the rest for a synopsis, or the script itself.

Always start with the protagonist. The script itself doesn’t start AFTER the inciting incident, so why start the logline with the word “After”? Introduce the character then state what happens to her.

The story isn’t clear. To what or whom exactly is she devout? Her dead husband? To being a widow? Doesn’t make sense. Unclear pronouns too; who is “She?” The widow or the enemy? Who has connections to the husband? The wife? Obviously! The enemy? What kind of connection? It’s all too vague, doesn’t provide a sense of what the story is actually about, is awkwardly phrased, and is a bit too long: 20-25 words is best, definitely no more than 30.

How else can the protagonist be described? Since “devout” has no clear meaning here, what is it about this woman which makes her interesting? What is she besides a widow? Is she old, young, middle-aged? Give us an idea of the state of her life without stating her age outright. How does her husband’s death relate to her current situation? You said it was violent, so that sounds like a murder, but why is this person also after her? Or is that the mystery? If so, make that clear. Tell us the story is about her solving the mystery of her husband’s murder while trying to prevent her own.

As for secrets laying in his grave, is that meant to be symbolic or literal? Was he buried with some sort of clue, or is this about what secrets he took with him to his grave? It’s all very unclear, and a logline is supposed to intrigue a reader enough to want to read more, not force us to ask questions just to understand the story.