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A Facebook friend request, changes the life of a man undergoing mid life crisis, as he discovers, his former best friend, is a hitman.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COMMAS? Seriously just write it as a single sentence with no commas and see how much better it sounds. A good logline shouldn't have any pauses anyway, but this isn't even good English...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COMMAS?
Seriously just write it as a single sentence with no commas and see how much better it sounds. A good logline shouldn’t have any pauses anyway, but this isn’t even good English…
See lessA man resolved to move forward, and a woman determined to hide away, fall in love; unfortunately, the persecution he faces, and the scars she bears, threaten their future together.
What is this actually about? Why are there so many commas? We don't need plot details, just give us the basics: protagonist, antagonist, conflict, stakes. A lonely veteran and a woman scarred by abuse form a tentative relationship after returning to the hometown where they knew each other as kids.
What is this actually about? Why are there so many commas? We don’t need plot details, just give us the basics: protagonist, antagonist, conflict, stakes.
A lonely veteran and a woman scarred by abuse form a tentative relationship after returning to the hometown where they knew each other as kids.
See lessA mysterious briefcase goes from hand to hand. Although everyone claims to be the owner, no one can open it. Until the day a commissioner forces the lock and discovers what’s inside …
No clear protagonist, no antagonist, no conflict, no stakes...just a mystery. A mystery is not a story, and a briefcase with unknown contents is a clich?. We need a character to support with a proper motivation, and a reason to follow the story. A retiring police commissioner must find the rightfulRead more
No clear protagonist, no antagonist, no conflict, no stakes…just a mystery. A mystery is not a story, and a briefcase with unknown contents is a clich?. We need a character to support with a proper motivation, and a reason to follow the story.
A retiring police commissioner must find the rightful owner of a mysterious package which everyone he meets is willing to kill to possess.
Kinda sloppy but the ideas are there; work with it and find the elements that make it compelling.
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