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Two brothers struggle with forgiveness and loyalty when one takes revenge on the priest who wronged him in residential school only to realize he doesn’t get what he bargained for after inviting them back to the decrepit brick fortress one last time.
Agreed with DPG, and as usual, almost all noteworthy comments made, courtesy of international time zones, before we get to read the post...One other thing to think of is the dual protagonist plot - is it necessary for the story to work?If you can get away with one, I strongly -- nay, very strongly -Read more
One other thing to think of is the dual protagonist plot – is it necessary for the story to work?
If you can get away with one, I strongly — nay, very strongly — suggest you change it. It’s hard enough to write a story with one main character let alone two.
Last thing, what did they actually survive? I get that the education system imposed by colonial governments was not fair, but the specific nature of their ordeal may add to the emotional stakes much like in Sleepers. In other words, if they were beaten or raped we could immediately empathize with their motivation with little explanation needed.
See lessA former high school jock is thrust into duty to save his high school reunion after a prank turns his classmates into the living dead.
So zombies in high school... Agreed with Nicholas, what about this will stand out and make a producer want to read the script? What's the twist/hook?
So zombies in high school…
Agreed with Nicholas, what about this will stand out and make a producer want to read the script? What’s the twist/hook?
See lessNoir Dramedy: Attempts by a mentally unstable and displaced young couple to forge a family with a stolen baby are jeopardized by law enforcement, a relative with vested interest, and an abusive ex-lover; their only chance of success seems to be returning to their homeland.
The story is unclear. Check out the 'Formula' tab on the top bar for more information on how to construct a logline. Here are a few pointers to get you started. A logline should be between 25 and 30 words. You also need to specify one main character and their flaw in order to indicate their inner joRead more
The story is unclear. Check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for more information on how to construct a logline.
Here are a few pointers to get you started.
A logline should be between 25 and 30 words. You also need to specify one main character and their flaw in order to indicate their inner journey.
A logline needs to position the story within the confounds of a finite timeline as determined by an inciting incident and goal.? What was the event that motivated the characters in this story to take action towards achieving a goal? To that matter, you need to describe a specific goal for the main characters, what is the specific goal here?
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