1. Posted: June 23, 2017In:

    When a young Latina, Izel Madrid, finds out she descends from Aztec gods, she decides to join forces with the charmingly surly, shapeshifting detective, Elias Navarro, in order to fight supernatural crime and find out the truth about her lineage.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with the above, she needs a definitive event which motivates her to team up with the detective.?Currently this sounds like a series more than a film, if this is the case, the logline needs to serve a different purpose. Assuming it's a film she could be implicated in a murder, or been involvedRead more

    Agreed with the above, she needs a definitive event which motivates her to team up with the detective.?Currently this sounds like a series more than a film, if this is the case, the logline needs to serve a different purpose. Assuming it’s a film she could be implicated in a murder, or been involved in a crime the detective is working on but her story does need a starting point. Secondly, her goal is unclear. What does “…find out the truth about her lineage…” in practical terms? Does it mean she wants to find her living relatives or debunk a myth? Whatever it is that drives her throughout her story, it needs to be clarified.

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  2. Posted: June 22, 2017In:

    A rookie Senator facing his first vote reevaluates his platform and priorities when his wife is murdered in a mass shooting.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Richiev beat me to it.I was going to suggest you make it so his party is for guns, but after his wife dies he is against guns.So which party would best fit the bill (pardon the pun) and clarify that if he wants gun control he will be working against his own party?

    Richiev beat me to it.

    I was going to suggest you make it so his party is for guns, but after his wife dies he is against guns.
    So which party would best fit the bill (pardon the pun) and clarify that if he wants gun control he will be working against his own party?

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  3. Posted: June 22, 2017In:

    When dad goes bankrupt, one percenter Adam Lewis must learn to live within his means.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Best if you would specify exactly how he'll make ends meat. Does he have to be a waiter in the country club he previously was a member of? Does he have to mow the lawn for all their previously super-rich neighbors? Or will he go into crime? It's the details of his humiliation that will make his fishRead more

    Best if you would specify exactly how he’ll make ends meat. Does he have to be a waiter in the country club he previously was a member of? Does he have to mow the lawn for all their previously super-rich neighbors? Or will he go into crime?

    It’s the details of his humiliation that will make his fish out of water predicament fun.

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