Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A brilliant DACA student is abducted to an island with four other people, all trying to escape until a violent mistake spirals out of control, revealing no one to be who they seem. She must figure out whom to trust and survive.
At 42 words this, much like your other loglines, is too long and it hides plot crucial details - check out the 'Formula' tab on the top bar for more information on logline conventions. What is a DACA student? The fact I need to ask means it's the wrong description to use. It's best to only include pRead more
At 42 words this, much like your other loglines, is too long and it hides plot crucial details – check out the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar for more information on logline conventions.
What is a DACA student? The fact I need to ask means it’s the wrong description to use. It’s best to only include phrases, words, and acronyms that most decision makers can understand without Googling.
“…a violent mistake…” – this needs clarification, what exactly happens that is a violent mistake?
See less“…spirals out of control…” – what does this mean in practical terms?
“…must figure out whom to trust and survive…” – loglines are used to describe a plot which requires a goal not goals, so which of these is the primary goal for the MC. As survival holds greater stakes, I suggest you make that her goal. However, survival is rather generic and merely a preservation of the status quo, is there something else she can do that will give her a better outcome? For example, she could be made the leader and responsible for the lives of the rest of the characters.
When a farmer?s wife vanishes, his desperate hunt reveals he?s actually been abducted and his entire town is a construction, built inside an alien craft to prep them for invasion. He must rescue his wife, pregnant with their hybrid child, and escape back home.
"...he?s actually been abducted and his entire town is a construction, built inside an alien craft to prep them for invasion..." - this sounds like the basic premise of Dark City. It's also unclear what he plans on doing to save the rest of the town if at all. I'd also change the wording to reduce tRead more
“…he?s actually been abducted and his entire town is a construction, built inside an alien craft to prep them for invasion…” – this sounds like the basic premise of Dark City.
It’s also unclear what he plans on doing to save the rest of the town if at all.
I’d also change the wording to reduce the length and streamline the plot. e.g:
See lessAfter aliens abduct his pregnant wife, a farmer discovers their town is a ruse by aliens preparing an invasion, he must then sabotage the alien mothership to save them all.
The true story of how a motley crew pulled off England’s biggest bank heist only to discover they were set up by MI5 to retrieve scandalous photos of a royal person.
This describes a hook, not a plot, and so reads like a tagline not a logline. Was this intentional?
This describes a hook, not a plot, and so reads like a tagline not a logline.
See lessWas this intentional?