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revised one the director shoots his video in the studio, due to a blackout he becomes frustrated, calls the electric company and talks to a computer that keeps repeating questions.
There's no real story described in this logline, I suggest you study other posts on this site and read through the 'Formula' tab before writing the next version.
There’s no real story described in this logline, I suggest you study other posts on this site and read through the ‘Formula’ tab before writing the next version.
See lessIn order to acquire funding for their passion project, a group of pretentious film students must survive the night in a haunted house.
Agreed with Richiev - there seems to be very little for the audience to root for. I'll add that this particular genre (monster in the house, if you read Blake Snyder...) lives and dies (pun intended) on the nature of the monsters. In other words, how the characters got to be in the haunted house isRead more
Agreed with Richiev – there seems to be very little for the audience to root for.
I’ll add that this particular genre (monster in the house, if you read Blake Snyder…) lives and dies (pun intended) on the nature of the monsters. In other words, how the characters got to be in the haunted house is irrelevant what makes these types of horror movies work is the unique type of beast the character need to face. Cabin in the Woods is a great example of a relatively modern horror of this type that had a great twist, what does your story bring to the genre that makes it stand out?
See lessA former lone wolf blackwater operative is forced back with his team to stop a terrorist organization from getting a mythological artifact that could destroyed the planet.
I think you mean pre-historic artifact. There's a disconnect between the inciting incident - the MC being forced back from retirement, and the goal - finding an artifact. The lack of cause and effect between these two events makes the story feel fragmented. Can you somehow connect the goal to the MCRead more
I think you mean pre-historic artifact.
There’s a disconnect between the inciting incident – the MC being forced back from retirement, and the goal – finding an artifact. The lack of cause and effect between these two events makes the story feel fragmented.
Can you somehow connect the goal to the MC? Perhaps he is some sort of cliche ‘chosen one’ who is the only person that can carry this item, etc… at least then you have a necessity that makes him need to work again.
Also, the wording is confusing, what does “…blackwater operative…” mean? Do you mean black ops or special forces operative? And how can he be a lone wolf and at the same tima have a team? Either he’s part of a team or a lone wolf.
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