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Trapped into a lease with his ex-wife, a young writer must come to terms with single life, all whilst making plans for his future.
Agreed with Richiev.Also, I can not tell you how often we get writers trying to push "...coming to terms with..." as the MC's action in a story. This is one of the most overused and ineffective ways to describe the action your MC will take - it's all internal and therefore will not make for good visRead more
Agreed with Richiev.
Also, I can not tell you how often we get writers trying to push “…coming to terms with…” as the MC’s action in a story. This is one of the most overused and ineffective ways to describe the action your MC will take – it’s all internal and therefore will not make for good visuals, not to mention, it mostly relates to the inner journey of a character not the pursuit of an external goal.
See lessAn outcast sea snail goes against his predatorial upbringing to find a new life with his biological rivals; the soldier crabs.
Agreed with Richiev. Also, why? What's motivating him to do this?
Agreed with Richiev.
Also, why? What’s motivating him to do this?
See less(Re-post) Post civil war, after escaping a vicious gang of ex-confederates running a slave camp in a sequestered stronghold in the mountains, an ex-union soldier seeks to return and free everyone there.
The wording of this logline makes it hard to understand.I think you mean that the ex-soldier is attacked by a gang - this is your out of the ordinary, world shattering, inciting incident and should be described as such from the MC's point of view. So, instead of stating that he escaped an attack, deRead more
The wording of this logline makes it hard to understand.
I think you mean that the ex-soldier is attacked by a gang – this is your out of the ordinary, world shattering, inciting incident and should be described as such from the MC’s point of view. So, instead of stating that he escaped an attack, describe the attack itself, i.e: After he is attacked by a gang of outlaws, an ex-confederate soldier must…
The brother and other soldiers are seemingly irrelevant, they’re allies and can be cut from the logline. The best loglines focus on the MC and his or her actions – nothing else.
So how does he plan on catching the gang? Will he set a trap? Will he gun them down?
See lessLastly, which is his primary goal, the bounty or revenge?