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A young warrior wonders the wastelands of earth, seeking knowledge and strength to defend herself and others. Can she protect and help those who become her companions from, bandits, emperors and legendary warriors?
A series - I see. In that case, you need to describe the ongoing story mechanism that will keep on producing dramatic needs and or conflict instead of a single thread plot. This is different to a film in several ways, but most of the principles still apply. Her story comes across as similar to thatRead more
A series – I see.
In that case, you need to describe the ongoing story mechanism that will keep on producing dramatic needs and or conflict instead of a single thread plot.
This is different to a film in several ways, but most of the principles still apply.
Her story comes across as similar to that of Caine’s in Kung Fu.
What makes her a warrior? Was she a former soldier prior to the apocalypse? Was she trained as a child by a martial artist or an assassin?
What made her wander the desert instead of settling down?
See lessAs the sun rises on a quiet morning, a lone wolf ventures through a charred wasteland in search of signs of life.
Considering the second version, where is the conflict or dramatic need going to come from ? it?s wild versus wild, or in other words, a documentary. Dramatic conflict needs an out of the ordinary event that motivates a flawed main character to achieve a goal, however, in this concept you have an aniRead more
Considering the second version, where is the conflict or dramatic need going to come from ? it?s wild versus wild, or in other words, a documentary. Dramatic conflict needs an out of the ordinary event that motivates a flawed main character to achieve a goal, however, in this concept you have an animal following its survival instincts during a natural disaster. You would need to anthropomorphize the wolf to make him or her a character and then you?ll require a dramatic need to make the story work. Check out Ice Age as a good example.
When a paranoid new king starts burning women at the stake, a mysterious outsider must embrace both her destiny and the ancient Hermetic ways to change the course of history.
The second version of the logline is better - it has a specific event as the inciting incident and gives her a goal. You need to take it further than that though. The inciting incident is still disconnected from the MC on a personal level and doesn't seem to directly motivate the MC. I suggest you mRead more
The second version of the logline is better – it has a specific event as the inciting incident and gives her a goal. You need to take it further than that though.
The inciting incident is still disconnected from the MC on a personal level and doesn’t seem to directly motivate the MC. I suggest you make the “…leader…” the MC’s adoptive mother. This way the MC loses the only parent she had and is clearly motivated to seek revenge. That said, revenge is a negative goal for an MC to have so best to redirect her subsequent efforts towards saving other women from the same fate.
My try:
See lessAfter a paranoid king murders the leader of a group of pagan women, her adopted daughter and successor must use the ancient Hermetic ways to destroy the crown and save her people.