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An OCD-afflicted photog wins over an energetic creative through her awkward yet relentless affection, but as their relationship develops, it becomes too much.
"... but I think it?s okay to have a character flaw that?s not necessarily a flaw in moral character..." No it's not. You want your hero to overcome a negative aspect of their character. They can have OCD, as DPG pointed out, it could be a good source of conflict, but they would need to have betterRead more
“… but I think it?s okay to have a character flaw that?s not necessarily a flaw in moral character…”
No it’s not.
You want your hero to overcome a negative aspect of their character. They can have OCD, as DPG pointed out, it could be a good source of conflict, but they would need to have better themselves in some other way. As Good as it Gets, is a good example in this case – the main character has OCD and is also a short-tempered bigot who hates gay men. By the end of the story, he would have overcome his dislike of gay men but his OCD still remained. This makes his OCD an obstacle standing in his way, not a character flaw. Much the same with Matchstick Men, Nicholas Cage’s character was a con artist who suffered from OCD – he was self-centered and morally corrupt, so he needed to learn to be a better person throughout the story. His condition was used as an obstacle that created conflict but by the end of the story, he learns his lesson and stops being a con man through fatherly love (all be it fake)? – that was the emotional payoff of the story.
Character flaw aside, the wording in the logline is confusing and the goal is not clear. You wrote that he “…wins over…” which means he already got the girl, so what is his goal now? If that is his goal, then the inciting incidnet is falling for her in the first place, not winning her over.
See lessOwner and his telepathically connected dog, impress every one they meet, and take the show on the road to financial independence.
Spike2018, You wrote "...Is paying off gambling debts an inciting incident? Or do I need to be more specific like: Exorbitant Super Bowl losses?" No, paying off debts is a series of actions, not an incident, it's also something that the main character does himself - on his own accord. In previous thRead more
Spike2018,
You wrote “…Is paying off gambling debts an inciting incident? Or do I need to be more specific like: Exorbitant Super Bowl losses?”
No, paying off debts is a series of actions, not an incident, it’s also something that the main character does himself – on his own accord. In previous threads I explained, in detail, what makes a good inciting incident, here it is again – A good inciting incident is a single, out of the ordinary, and motivating event that was initiated by an external force to the main character.
If I were to convert your above suggestion into an inciting incident it would probably look like this:
After a bookie cracks his thumb, a lowner, telepathically connected to his dog, goes on the road…
As Richiev wrote, where is the conflict going to come from? If he’s on the road, well, he’s on the road doing his thing – not much to it. What If the bookie were to pursue him? Then you have a source of conflict.
See lessWhen a young, restless girl runs away from her castle, she is stopped by her most trusted friend to find her castle is taken and her family is killed, now she must fight to take her kingdom back, unaware of the secrets that lie around her, starting with her most trusted friend.
I'm in two minds about this thread. Yes, in some cases you should include the 'big reveal' in the logline - if the plot or emotional pay-off hinge on it. However, in some cases, hiding the 'big reveal' could work to your advantage. I can't tell you how good it is to hear a wide-eyed producer/executiRead more
I’m in two minds about this thread.
Yes, in some cases you should include the ‘big reveal’ in the logline – if the plot or emotional pay-off hinge on it.
However, in some cases, hiding the ‘big reveal’ could work to your advantage. I can’t tell you how good it is to hear a wide-eyed producer/executive enthusiastically ask – “…and then what?…” after hearing your logline. Aside from being a great way to crack through their, all too common, cynical exterior, it’s a practical way to demonstrate to them how the story will work on the emotions of the audience.
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