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When her daughter is kidnapped at a local convenience store, Midge Phaeton must bring the sex trafficking to its knees, but when she is caught, and beaten to a pulp, she must outsmart the traffickers in order to save her daughter from being exploited or killed.
Agreed with the above, the stakes and the obstacles are not mentioned in the logline. I would start it with a description of the bad guys threatening the couple and make it so the threat is what motivated them to sell the car. However, I still don't understand what's stopping them, or in other wordsRead more
Agreed with the above, the stakes and the obstacles are not mentioned in the logline.
I would start it with a description of the bad guys threatening the couple and make it so the threat is what motivated them to sell the car. However, I still don’t understand what’s stopping them, or in other words, what will be their major obstacle.
See lessA young, pregnant Maltese woman struggles to survive the siege of Malta and Nazi invasion alone, after her submariner husband leaves during WWII. OR When newlyweds Jaynie and Reggie are separated during the siege of Malta WW2, an impulsive, pregnant Jaynie must survive and save her family without him.
What does "...struggles to survive..." mean? What does she actually do? Also, what are the stakes? Is she Jewish? The Nazi invasion is a good backdrop, but how does their presence on the Island directly threaten her?
What does “…struggles to survive…” mean? What does she actually do?
Also, what are the stakes? Is she Jewish? The Nazi invasion is a good backdrop, but how does their presence on the Island directly threaten her?
See lessAfter a scientific accident that leaves everyone dead and one with fire abilities, the survivor must travel to a sacred temple to learn how to control his abilities.
The last version is the clearest so far, the wording you were using before was confusing. The problem is that his goal isn't clearly motivated, who is threatening to take hold of what? His ability? The temple? Fire?
The last version is the clearest so far, the wording you were using before was confusing. The problem is that his goal isn’t clearly motivated, who is threatening to take hold of what? His ability? The temple? Fire?
See less