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When a medieval princess releases an evil spirit that intends to murder her husband, she must find a way to destroy the spirit and save her husband.
The story starts when the spirit threatens to kill her husband - as inciting incidents go a threat is fine but it can be better. What if the spirit were to kill the husband and try to kill her child? Now the inciting incident is much more significant and the threat gains some weight. Best to rewordRead more
The story starts when the spirit threatens to kill her husband – as inciting incidents go a threat is fine but it can be better. What if the spirit were to kill the husband and try to kill her child? Now the inciting incident is much more significant and the threat gains some weight.
Best to reword the logline so it starts from the threat to kill and then describes the action she takes to eliminate said threat – destroy the spirit, banish it to hell, or catch it in a Ghost Trap (who you gonna call…).
Ultimately, whatever it is she does needs to be described in the logline in more detail than it is now.
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Agreed with Richiev. Either one of them would make a good character, best to pick one and develop the story around him or her. Which of the characters do you feel most represents your writing interests?
Agreed with Richiev.
Either one of them would make a good character, best to pick one and develop the story around him or her. Which of the characters do you feel most represents your writing interests?
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Good point raised by DPG, if you look at Back to the Future the stakes were the MC's very existence. In this case, it's just rejigging a few facts, could you somehow connect that to a life and death stake for the MC?
Good point raised by DPG, if you look at Back to the Future the stakes were the MC’s very existence. In this case, it’s just rejigging a few facts, could you somehow connect that to a life and death stake for the MC?
See less