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possible fiction-thriller “the quarry” (MITH)
You're clearly leaning towards a supernatural or a sci-fi thriller genre in your story, let that guide you but don't religiously adhere to any specific paradigm or definition (Blake Snyder, Monster in the House, his sin...) just yet - at this early stage it's best to focus on the main character, hisRead more
You’re clearly leaning towards a supernatural or a sci-fi thriller genre in your story, let that guide you but don’t religiously adhere to any specific paradigm or definition (Blake Snyder, Monster in the House, his sin…) just yet – at this early stage it’s best to focus on the main character, his motivation and goal.
Why is it so important for this particular operations manager to solve the mystery? Is there more than his job at stake? Could he have a brother or sister working in the mines who he must protect?
Secondly, as Richiev wrote, the logline is unclear. Define the event that motivates the main character to take action – “…recent events…” is too vague and unspecific. It’s also unclear how he knows the mineral is otherworldly and it’s not clear what he intends to do about it.
In general, producers need to know these elements in order to want to read your script. Don’t be afraid of revealing the character’s motivations and goals in a logline – that’s precisely what a logline is meant to do.
See lessWhen a starry-eyed, awkward girl is stabbed protecting the object of her unrequited love, her beloved?s cowardly behaviour compels her to look for another boyfriend?based on more than just good looks.
Agreed with Craig. It's not clear how the story will play out. She wants a new guy - that is her goal, so we need to know what she does to get her man.
Agreed with Craig.
It’s not clear how the story will play out. She wants a new guy – that is her goal, so we need to know what she does to get her man.
See lessA career-focused artist demands a ?share no details? rule with her one-night-stand, but becomes tempted to break her own rule when they start to bond during the disastrous night.
Not sure what the story is from the logline - Das ist nicht gut!What does she want as a result of the bond? A relationship? If so what kind (she can't possibly be in love after one night)? What does she do to get what she wants? These are the most important pieces of information a logline should conRead more
Not sure what the story is from the logline – Das ist nicht gut!
What does she want as a result of the bond? A relationship? If so what kind (she can’t possibly be in love after one night)? What does she do to get what she wants? These are the most important pieces of information a logline should contain but are missing in this version.
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