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A hard-headed teenager who dreams up the perfect movie idea must overcome his laziness and learn the logline formula to create a marketable script before he gets pimp-slapped by the impatient veterans of logline.it for posting without following the instructions on the left. (Block Comedy)
Well done!!
Well done!!
See less(Set in the late 19th century) To prevent the bank foreclosing on her family estate, a brilliant teenage biologist must travel to Australia to track down her missing parents, but discovers a world full of strange monsters and must create one of her own to survive.
The specific event that motivates her to create her own monster needs to be in the logline. Perhaps she's attacked by a fill the gap creature and is locked inside her field lab with no other alternative but to create her own monster for protection. Kind of like Pokemon in the 19 century... Either waRead more
The specific event that motivates her to create her own monster needs to be in the logline. Perhaps she’s attacked by a fill the gap creature and is locked inside her field lab with no other alternative but to create her own monster for protection. Kind of like Pokemon in the 19 century…
Either way, by the end of the logline she has two goals – still wants to find the parents and needs to survive. Which is the primary goal she pursues throughout most of the story?
See lessWhen an Iwi investor whanagungatanga is threatened, he must relinquish his fears at a maximum personal cost and risk to encounter a spiritual revelation that awakens his true identity in God.
Pazzazz, It's great that you're trying to improve and are making changes to the logline, that's exactly what we should all be doing. However admirable your efforts may be, the latest version still falls short of fulfilling the basic requirements of a logline. Seeing as almost all of the previous notRead more
It’s great that you’re trying to improve and are making changes to the logline, that’s exactly what we should all be doing.
However admirable your efforts may be, the latest version still falls short of fulfilling the basic requirements of a logline. Seeing as almost all of the previous notes still apply in the latest version, I strongly suggest that you study this thread in detail and research the terminology we used.
For example, the stakes you describe (“…at a personal cost and risk…”) are vague as they can mean any number of things. These kinds of descriptions do very little in a logline, it’s the specific details that make up these costs and risks that will have an effect and need to be described. Will he be exiled from the community? Kicked out of the church? Imprisoned for his beliefs? What will actually happen?
Another example is “…must experience this spiritual journey…”. What does this mean IN PRACTICAL TERMS? Why MUST he experience it? What does “…this…” refer to? What is a spiritual journey? Will he actually trace the steps of a religious figure that came before him? Or is this a metaphor for an inner journey of developing his faith?
These questions and many more are all preventing the reader from understanding what your story is. You’re essentially hiding the ball by using vague descriptions and a lack of detail.
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