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An anomaly opens a portal which brings three people from different time periods under one roof to deal with the alien race that monitors the universe for inferior race development.
Confusing. The longer version has many details that are unrelated to each other. Simplify the plot. Who is the main character? What is his flaw? Not the two guys, who is the one character the story is about. What is the first thing that happens - an anomaly appears. This is a Star Treck stock standaRead more
Confusing.
The longer version has many details that are unrelated to each other. Simplify the plot.
Who is the main character? What is his flaw? Not the two guys, who is the one character the story is about.
What is the first thing that happens – an anomaly appears. This is a Star Treck stock standard description for anything too vague for the writers to waste time on. For a film, however, clarity is a must.
The reason and manner in which the anomaly appears is less relevant, it’s the specific nature of the anomaly that matters most. What type of anomaly? A time vortex? An interdimensional portal? etc…
As a result of the anomaly, what must the MC do? “…deal with the aliens…” is too vague, what specifically must the MC do?
See lessIn order to get close to her only son, a recently divorced mother must face accusations with the arrival of a mysterious lever.
What is the mother's flaw? What is the inner journey she will go through to become a better person, and in doing so, enable her to get close to her son? Also, what's stopping her? Is it thse accusations? If so, what are these accusations?
What is the mother’s flaw? What is the inner journey she will go through to become a better person, and in doing so, enable her to get close to her son?
Also, what’s stopping her? Is it thse accusations? If so, what are these accusations?
See lessA dracula who hates killing people for blood finds a companionship in a coward son of a gangster.
The latest version of the logline is too long and unclear.Is the MC the vampire or the gangster's son? They both seem to have different goals, so it can't be a dual protagonist - which of them is the main character of your story?
The latest version of the logline is too long and unclear.
Is the MC the vampire or the gangster’s son? They both seem to have different goals, so it can’t be a dual protagonist – which of them is the main character of your story?
See less