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The different story elements don't work together in the one plot, mostly as a result of them lacking a cause and effect relationship.Break the story down before trying again so you can better understand the story.What is the first event that motivates the MC to take action? Is it him becoming a musiRead more
The different story elements don’t work together in the one plot, mostly as a result of them lacking a cause and effect relationship.
Break the story down before trying again so you can better understand the story.
What is the first event that motivates the MC to take action?
Is it him becoming a musician? Is it him being arrested? Is it him being sent back in time? Or is it him discovering that the girl is the key to his musical career?
I think it’s the last one as it is the only thing that motivates him to take action, all the rest are planned events as part of his choices in life. Seeing as it’s the discovery, it’s the only event that needs to be described in the beginning, for example:
After he discovers that a blind girl in the old west is responsible for his musical genius, a time traveling convict must teach her piano to secure his career before he is sent back to the future.
My biggest concern with this concept is the lack of obstacle and cinematic action. Sure it’s harder to teach a blind person piano than a 20/20 person but it’s not impossible, and teaching piano is boring on screen – he doesn’t really do much else than sit and play.
Are there any bad guys he can fight or something else he can do that would make his action more seductive for a camera?
See lessTerrified of his parents suspicions, a freshly outed gay high school senior must get a girlfriend so his parents will think he is straight.
I'm not convinced this will work - not today, not in the west. There is so much already dealing with LGBT subject matter that for a script to stand out (enough to catch a producer's attention) it would need to present seriously high stakes and or be based on a real story. This sounds like very low sRead more
I’m not convinced this will work – not today, not in the west.
There is so much already dealing with LGBT subject matter that for a script to stand out (enough to catch a producer’s attention) it would need to present seriously high stakes and or be based on a real story. This sounds like very low stakes and rather pedestrian. Coming out as gay in 2017 – no big deal. This is, unless, the MC lives in a very strict community of people who would react to him being gay – evangelical Christians, Muslims or neo nazis.
Even then I struggle to see how this is a story worthy problem and one that we haven’t seen oh so many times before. I think you need to find a specific plot device that would raise the stakes beyond the socially awkward to real danger.
See lessafter-surviving-a-serial-killer-attack-thanks-to-the-donated-organs-of-three-girls-arata-must-remember-the-identity-of-the-murder-who-attacked-him-while-the-spirits-of-the-girls-of-its-new-organs-fol
Where is the logline?Noard, if you deleted the logline after receiving comments in the thread, please don't do that again. The point of this website is to learn from each other's experiences - mistakes included.
Where is the logline?
Noard, if you deleted the logline after receiving comments in the thread, please don’t do that again. The point of this website is to learn from each other’s experiences – mistakes included.
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