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After inheriting their grandmothers precious doll collection, two bickering sisters visit the estate, but find themselves trapped and tormented by dolls manipulated by a demonic entity and must escape .
The logline positions the inheritance as the inciting event, but it's really the first instance of a possessed doll attacking them. Also, the goal of escaping leaves the demons in question at large. Perhaps they need to rid the house of the demon for good to save their own lives. My try: After a posRead more
The logline positions the inheritance as the inciting event, but it’s really the first instance of a possessed doll attacking them. Also, the goal of escaping leaves the demons in question at large. Perhaps they need to rid the house of the demon for good to save their own lives.
My try:
After a possessed doll collection attacks them in their dead grandmother’s house, two bickering sisters must banish the demons to save themselves.
Though I would typically recommend a single protagonist plot, in this instance, I think the character dynamic of bickering sisters works.
See lessWhen Christmas HQ is to be torn down due to a lack of belief, a diffident new Santa rallies the other Santas to get children believing again, but when nothing raises the belief-ometer he must find the real cause before Christmas morning.
Richiev's version is simple and works well. A question that comes to mind is why did children stop believing in the first place? In other words, it would be great to include a unique antagonist in the logline. It could be a pop culture icon that's captured the youth's imagination, an addictive sociaRead more
Richiev’s version is simple and works well.
A question that comes to mind is why did children stop believing in the first place?
In other words, it would be great to include a unique antagonist in the logline. It could be a pop culture icon that’s captured the youth’s imagination, an addictive social media platform or a video game manufacturer.
See lessAn old, abusive slave owner switches body with his slave who gives him a taste of his own medicine
Agreed with the above. It would be better if both slave and owner learn something. The lesson the owner undergoes is obvious, but the slave's isn't. What if after the slave inhabits the owner's body, he becomes hell-bent on revenge, gets it, but then wants more. The audience should be happy to see tRead more
Agreed with the above.
It would be better if both slave and owner learn something. The lesson the owner undergoes is obvious, but the slave’s isn’t.
What if after the slave inhabits the owner’s body, he becomes hell-bent on revenge, gets it, but then wants more. The audience should be happy to see the owner get his comeuppance, but then if structured well, things change around the mid-point. The slave ventures on a dark path, and the more he keeps trying to avenge the injustice he received, the more he realises that he’s crossed a line and is becoming as bad as his former tormentor.
Just a thought.
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