1. Posted: November 29, 2019In:

    A young medium is tasked with cleansing an old mansion but the spirits would kill to protect their dark secrets.

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity

    "...would kill..." should be 'kill' - make the danger imminent. Also, it would be better to make the stakes more personal. For example: After her brother is lost in a haunted mansion, a medium must cleanse the murdering spirits away to save his life.

    “…would kill…” should be ‘kill’ – make the danger imminent.

    Also, it would be better to make the stakes more personal.

    For example:

    After her brother is lost in a haunted mansion, a medium must cleanse the murdering spirits away to save his life.

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  2. Posted: November 14, 2019In:

    A cowardly parking office accidentally locks himself in the trunk of his car on his wedding day, but when the car is stolen with him in it, he must escape and get to the altar before the thieves realise he’s there.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    A comedy version of Buried - if done well this could be fun. Comps for you: The Hangover meets Buried.

    A comedy version of Buried – if done well this could be fun.

    Comps for you: The Hangover meets Buried.

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  3. Posted: November 30, 2019In:

    A couple new acquaintances, memory damage and pain escallating hallucination influence the dark recovery of a young man who woke impossibly from a long term coma

    Best Answer
    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with Richiev. Clarity is key in loglines, and in this instance, sorely lacking. Break down the concept into its core components; What happens to the main character that forces him to take action? What does he do in response? What MUST he achieve?

    Agreed with Richiev.

    Clarity is key in loglines, and in this instance, sorely lacking. Break down the concept into its core components;

    What happens to the main character that forces him to take action?

    What does he do in response?

    What MUST he achieve?

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