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A father, convinced his young daughter has inherited his terrifying ability to commune with evil spirits, must find the man who disabled his ability, to reawaken it.
What ever event it was that made the father realize his daughter has the power, needs to be described in the logline as that is the inciting incident. What ever it is he has to do as a result, needs to be described in the logline as it is the goal.
What ever event it was that made the father realize his daughter has the power, needs to be described in the logline as that is the inciting incident. What ever it is he has to do as a result, needs to be described in the logline as it is the goal.
See lessOn meeting witches who fantasize him and have golden teeth, a boy who thinks his crush is out of his league decides to steal their teeth while they battle for his affections.
Confusing. This s a boy meets girl comedy, right? The MC is a boy, but what is his defining characteristic? "...boy..." is vague and lacks detail. Why does he decide to steal the teath? What motivates him? How will that help him get the girl? The witches seem unrelated, can you tie them into the ploRead more
Confusing.
This s a boy meets girl comedy, right? The MC is a boy, but what is his defining characteristic? “…boy…” is vague and lacks detail.
Why does he decide to steal the teath? What motivates him? How will that help him get the girl?
The witches seem unrelated, can you tie them into the plot more? Otherwise I suggest cutting them out of the logline.
See lessA by the book detective puts his career in jeopardy when he allows an unorthodox priest to punish a recently apprehended serial killer. (23)
"...God's law..." - is archaic and makes the MC sound insane and out of touch - very hard to get an audience on his side. Perhaps the priest needs to know that the murderer will kill again and has already selected his target the priests daughter, son, fill the gap stakes person. This way the priest'Read more
“…God’s law…” – is archaic and makes the MC sound insane and out of touch – very hard to get an audience on his side. Perhaps the priest needs to know that the murderer will kill again and has already selected his target the priests daughter, son, fill the gap stakes person. This way the priest’s actions can be excused as he has to kill in order to save many other lives.
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