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When a family-less teenage Jewish boy encounters a girl depicted as Jewish and promises to be together before he is sent to a Nazi camp, he gets help from a Commandant to be acknowledged she is Hitler?s daughter, but he decides to keep the promise and find her out.
Hi Andrew, All the comments that were given to your previous logline drafts of this same concept still apply - without exception. This could mean one of two things, either you're not implementing the advice given to you or there are some fundamental flaws in this concept. Either way, I strongly suggRead more
Hi Andrew,
All the comments that were given to your previous logline drafts of this same concept still apply – without exception.
This could mean one of two things, either you’re not implementing the advice given to you or there are some fundamental flaws in this concept.
Either way, I strongly suggest you studdy all the great advice given to you already to figure out which it is and make the necessary adjustments.
See lessAfter a near drowning makes him the target of an evil spirit, an avoidant teenager must endure hellish heat when a bushfire threatens to destroy his hideout. (27)
All the different pieces of the puzzle are not making up the picture clearly - the cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and goal isn't clear. You say he gains this power but, why and to what end? What MUST he do now that he has this power?
All the different pieces of the puzzle are not making up the picture clearly – the cause and effect relationship between the inciting incident and goal isn’t clear. You say he gains this power but, why and to what end? What MUST he do now that he has this power?
See lessA by the book detective puts his career in jeopardy when he allows an unorthodox priest to punish a recently apprehended serial killer. (23)
The latest draft of the logline lacks a description of the motivation for the MC to take action. If he is by the book, he wouldn't do that, so, he isn't by the book. Perhaps make it so the murderer killed his wife or child, this way we can understand why the MC is doing the wrong thing for the rightRead more
The latest draft of the logline lacks a description of the motivation for the MC to take action. If he is by the book, he wouldn’t do that, so, he isn’t by the book. Perhaps make it so the murderer killed his wife or child, this way we can understand why the MC is doing the wrong thing for the right reason.
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