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Updated: When an Eskimo grandmother is abandoned by her migrating family during a famine, she struggles to survive through a bitter winter until?the ?spring ?thaw.
Good ending or not, the story should be compelling and unfortunately, this doesn't sound compelling. I think the problem lies in the fact that there is no out of the ordinary event that happens to motivate her to take action. Eskimos traditionally abandon their elderly on sheets of floating ice to dRead more
Good ending or not, the story should be compelling and unfortunately, this doesn’t sound compelling. I think the problem lies in the fact that there is no out of the ordinary event that happens to motivate her to take action. Eskimos traditionally abandon their elderly on sheets of floating ice to die alone, so to some degree, she knew this day was going to come. Perhaps if she were to be separated from the family unexpectedly (freak storm or a?large break in the ice) she would rightly be motivated to try and get back to them in order to help them. Even then she would still need to be made out to be the matriarch the family relies on for leadership, otherwise, her own survival alone is not enough of a motivation.
See lessPregnant, with a two year old, unfamiliar with her husband?s home country, a horrific accident changes everything, he survives with no memory of where he is and the new life he has started to build in Australia, she quickly becomes his only thread in his new country full of strangers and strange ways.
There are many comments to be made about this logline -- too many -- I suggest you check out the 'Formula' tab up top and re draft this accordingly.A few starting points:Use one description for the main character, preferably a character flaw.Identify the main goal that the main character will pursueRead more
There are many comments to be made about this logline — too many — I suggest you check out the ‘Formula’ tab up top and re draft this accordingly.
A few starting points:
Use one description for the main character, preferably a character flaw.
Identify the main goal that the main character will pursue and describe it.
Identify the major obstacle standing in the way of the MC and describe it.
See lessWhen a Maori tribe surrounds another, a young Maori warrior who is mute rises up and earns a terrifying reputation until he meets an English female doctor who leads him down a path of love and self-discovery.
If the warrior is the lead and is unusually violent it sounds like you would have troubles with empathy - cuts off heads and eats them. Take, for example, the character of Leonidas who was portrayed in 300 as a fearless super warrior both violent and strong, but also humane, someone the audience couRead more
If the warrior is the lead and is unusually violent it sounds like you would have troubles with empathy – cuts off heads and eats them. Take, for example, the character of Leonidas who was portrayed in 300 as a fearless super warrior both violent and strong, but also humane, someone the audience could empathize with.
This concept sounds like it is a period pieces set in the early 19th century, if so, being a capable warrior is a necessity for survival. As the British influence grew the tribes would learn to reduce the violence in favour of diplomacy, perhaps the doctor could teach him diplomacy then. This means he can be a fighter but doesn’t have to be an enemy beheading cannibal.
Ultimately, if his goal is to defeat the opposing tribe’s leader, it needs to be clearly stated in the logline. The doctor could teach him that he can defeat the other tribe leader with diplomacy instead of violence and his transformation will make for a nice inner arch.
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