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A girl obsessed with UFO’s builds a small device to alert us, when the device goes off during a storm she encounters a strange figure.
A switch of protagonists is a very tricky thing to pull off and should be avoided at all costs. You would best serve your own purpose with one protagonist, one goal and therefore one plot. Post the ending as at this point I believe there are a few fundamental problems working against this concept, pRead more
A switch of protagonists is a very tricky thing to pull off and should be avoided at all costs. You would best serve your own purpose with one protagonist, one goal and therefore one plot.
Post the ending as at this point I believe there are a few fundamental problems working against this concept, perhaps if we know the whole story we could suggest a solution.
See lessWorking title: MISSLE (or GOD OF DESTRUCTION) Logline: After helplessly witnessing his brother murdered by a vicious gang, a disabled man in LA sets out one night on his homemade killing machine to seek vengeance.
Hi FMA. I just moderated your original post to fix the word count issue. So you know, the logline section is reserved for loglines only, any questions, comments or responses should be posted bellow in the thread. About your logline: I like it, it has a Mad Max feel and could be made into a nice low-Read more
Hi FMA.
I just moderated your original post to fix the word count issue. So you know, the logline section is reserved for loglines only, any questions, comments or responses should be posted bellow in the thread.
About your logline:
See lessI like it, it has a Mad Max feel and could be made into a nice low-budget action adventure. However, I believe that the goal (as previously noted) is negative and could use a more empathetic angle. In other words, give him a noble aspiration to coincide with his vengeful need – rescue a kidnaped person or prevent another killing, whatever it is we, the audience, can hang our hat on to call him a good guy.
When a young ward of the state is fostered to a crazy family planning a heist, he sets out to find his real father before being forced to engage in criminal activities that will see him back in juvenile prison.
Agreed with DPG, the basic logic of the premise doesn't work. I believe the only way to get around the logic flaw is to associate an emotional connection via a stakes character. What if his real father is a criminal who has decided to quit crime? The foster family know this and decide to use the kidRead more
Agreed with DPG, the basic logic of the premise doesn’t work.
I believe the only way to get around the logic flaw is to associate an emotional connection via a stakes character. What if his real father is a criminal who has decided to quit crime? The foster family know this and decide to use the kid as leverage to force the father to break into a vault. Now the kid is compelled to stay involved as he wants to help his dad.
Here is my attempt:
After his foster family of crooks plan to force his real father to do one last a heist, a teenager must aid them in an attempt to save his father from being caught and thrown in jail.
Not the best but get’s the emotional angle in.
See less