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The dormant, youthful love of two hopeless romantics is suddenly ignited to life as they trade names to profess their love… and their identity.
Agreed with the above comments, this logline lacks some vital components. Check out the Formula tab on the top bar for more details on logline conventions.
Agreed with the above comments, this logline lacks some vital components.
See lessCheck out the Formula tab on the top bar for more details on logline conventions.
When his life unravels, a selfish, high school Jock is given a chance of redemption when he starts visualizing the desires of anyone he touches. p.s I’m trying something a bit different … 2 log lines based on the same premise. This one is a comeuppance tale of Jerk transformed to Good Guy. The next submission is Loser to Hero…. Your thoughts on both or either please. And which transformation do you prefer? which logline is the most ironic?
This one seems to lack the plot-critical descriptions a logline needs. As the others have said, what causes his life to unravel? How is that connected to him seeing other people's desires? What is his goal? This logline has the least clear detail of all the many iterations you've posted so far.
This one seems to lack the plot-critical descriptions a logline needs.
As the others have said, what causes his life to unravel? How is that connected to him seeing other people’s desires? What is his goal?
This logline has the least clear detail of all the many iterations you’ve posted so far.
See lessWhen he starts visualizing the desires of anyone he touches, a lovelorn but clueless teen has one week to win his true love before she leaves for college.
Agreed with Dkpough1, this is an improvement in the previous versions, however, it still suffers from a lack of cause and effect between the story's major events. If his goal is to win his true love over before she leaves then the inciting incident would either be her announcing that she's leaving oRead more
Agreed with Dkpough1, this is an improvement in the previous versions, however, it still suffers from a lack of cause and effect between the story’s major events. If his goal is to win his true love over before she leaves then the inciting incident would either be her announcing that she’s leaving or him falling in love – the special ability to see other people’s desires is unrelated.
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