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Street level dealer wanting more from life plans to import her own product triggering kidnap, murder and a war she cannot survive.
Vincent Vega doesn't sleep with the boss's wife - that's his save the cat moment. Back to your concept, even after your explanation she still lacks a single, clear objective goal. What does 'the big time'? mean in practical terms? Big house? Fancy pants car? A butler named Jeeves? What is it she speRead more
Vincent Vega doesn’t sleep with the boss’s wife – that’s his save the cat moment.
Back to your concept, even after your explanation she still lacks a single, clear objective goal. What does ‘the big time’? mean in practical terms? Big house? Fancy pants car? A butler named Jeeves?
What is it she specifically must achieve? Without this the plot is vague.
If you don’t mind the audience disliking her that is your choice, however, I strongly suggest you give her one redeeming quality or the audience will simply not watch the film. There are many examples of dislikable characters in successful films and shows, most of which have at least one reason for the audience to like them. It’s this that makes the audience want to experience the journey with the MC. I can’t think of one MC that is outright dislikable without at least one redeeming factor. Even if there are a few examples in successful films and shows, they are too far and few in between to warrant modeling after.
If you want to ‘break with convention’ and make your story different to anything else, that’s your choice. No need to get feedback on your logline or concept to that matter, you can just do what you think works.
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A perfectionist Youtube star’s page views plummet when she falls for a hang loose gamer geek. Their PDA insecurities and her scheming manager threaten to ctrl+alt+delete their dreams to go public with their “In a relationship” status.
Yup got it.I asked my partner what PDA is and she knew, guess I'm out of touch with the lingo, yo...I understand that you were trying to demonstrate character via the wording, but loglines are not the place for that. You could do so in the script, or perhaps even in the synopsis.I've been asked to wRead more
Yup got it.
I asked my partner what PDA is and she knew, guess I’m out of touch with the lingo, yo…
I understand that you were trying to demonstrate character via the wording, but loglines are not the place for that. You could do so in the script, or perhaps even in the synopsis.
I’ve been asked to write a couple of one-pagers for a producer who works in a very large studio, as a precursor for writing a script for one of their next productions. I will be using ‘lingo’ and phrasing that embody the feel and subject matter in the one-pagers, but not in the loglines that go with them.
Perhaps use ‘laid-back’ and ‘derail’ instead. However, I’m still not sure what the problem is for them to be together. If their love means so little to them that they are willing to forsake or consider forsaking it, for their online image, why would the audience care enough to watch their story?
See lessStreet level dealer wanting more from life plans to import her own product triggering kidnap, murder and a war she cannot survive.
There is no 'trick' nor one definitive way to develop audience empathy. There are many ways in which an audience can develop empathy for a dislikable character, the most common is, as Blake Snyder called it, to include a 'Save The Cat Moment', other means could be giving them a noble cause. Point isRead more
There is no ‘trick’ nor one definitive way to develop audience empathy. There are many ways in which an audience can develop empathy for a dislikable character, the most common is, as Blake Snyder called it, to include a ‘Save The Cat Moment’, other means could be giving them a noble cause.
Point is, this character has none of them, being a drug dealer, of any kind, makes her despicable, more so if she wants ‘the big time’ and nothing else and is willing to kill for it. Her sister getting kidnaped is as a result of her despicable aspirations – there is nothing even remotely redeeming about her. Personally, I just want to see her go to jail and don’t care one bit about her.
Give her a noble cause, or risk losing the audience in the first 10 minutes.
Other than that what is her goal? To save her sister? If so, she’ll be solving a problem she created, and ultimately finish the story not better or worse off than how she started.
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