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A highly cultivated test subject flees the clutches of a CIA organization and must determine the purpose of his program while evading capture from government officials.
I think this was meant to go under 'Classics'.
I think this was meant to go under ‘Classics’.
See lessWhen a graffiti outbreak in a small town corresponds with recent child abductions in the county, a nerdy teenage boy has to crack the codes to save the children and become the town hero.
The inciting incident is weak - him realizing that something may relate to events that are otherwise entirely unrelated to him comes across as convenient writing and un compelling. Why not make it so his sister or brother get abducted, and he now is on a mission to find get him or her back. This wilRead more
The inciting incident is weak – him realizing that something may relate to events that are otherwise entirely unrelated to him comes across as convenient writing and un compelling.
See lessWhy not make it so his sister or brother get abducted, and he now is on a mission to find get him or her back. This will also enhance the town folks doubt of him , they could think that in his desperation he sees clues everywhere but it turns out he was right all along.
LOGLINE: A fame obsessed actress with more ambition than talent will must conceal her involvement in the murder of her fianc
Agreed with the above. It's easy to reference successful stories as precedents for a premise, but it doesn't make it the right thing to do. One other, very important, aspect that made Walter White likable at first was the fact that he wanted to provide for his family - he did a bad thing for a goodRead more
Agreed with the above.
It’s easy to reference successful stories as precedents for a premise, but it doesn’t make it the right thing to do. One other, very important, aspect that made Walter White likable at first was the fact that he wanted to provide for his family – he did a bad thing for a good reason.
Point is, don’t get lost in the loosely related aspects of your story to a hugely successful?show, Vince Gilligan and Peter Gould did a lot of work on the structure and character’s of Breaking Bad before they were able to make them empathetic.
Lastly, and semi-related to the empathy question, if the inciting incident is of her own doing (accidental or not) it renders the whole premise heavily contrived. Could you not make it so someone else kills the fiance, and she is on the run to prove her innocens? Bit Fugitive like, but it resolves several of the big problems noted above.
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