


Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When twin vixens working in a Texas Diner have their freedom threatened by two bandits, they must face the evil lurking in their nightmares or they?ll be enslaved for eternity.
A logline's primary function is to describe a plot, and this is best constructed out of clear detail, not vague statements. You need to clearly describe the inciting incident and goal in order for a plot to come across, or risk a reader's confusion. In your current draft you wrote: "...have their frRead more
A logline’s primary function is to describe a plot, and this is best constructed out of clear detail, not vague statements. You need to clearly describe the inciting incident and goal in order for a plot to come across, or risk a reader’s confusion.
In your current draft you wrote: “…have their freedom threatened…”, I presume this is the inciting incident, but it isn’t clear what actually happened. If they were kidnapped specify it, if they were forced into slavery specify it, whatever it is that happened needs to be clear from the logline.
You also wrote: “…they must face the evil lurking in their nightmares…”, but, as Richiev said, what does that mean in practical terms? What will they actually do? How will they “…face the evil…”? How will this help them?
Lastly, what do they hope to achieve by facing the evil? This is their goal and needs to be made clear in the logline.
See lessWhen a zombie outbreak incites a racist massacre in her small Southern town, a pregnant teen must fight the undead – and her own family – to reunite with the child’s black father.
I think people on this thread are getting caught up in the theme or 'meaning' of the concept, and forgetting about the bare necessities of a story. You can't write from a theme, but you can have a theme naturally grow out of a story. Point is, you first need to figure out what the story is going toRead more
I think people on this thread are getting caught up in the theme or ‘meaning’ of the concept, and forgetting about the bare necessities of a story.
You can’t write from a theme, but you can have a theme naturally grow out of a story. Point is, you first need to figure out what the story is going to be, then see what the theme is and enhance it.
Is this a story about a character doing battle with the undead in a Zombie apocalypse?
See lessOr,
Is this a story of a MC fighting racism?
An overly curious high-school boy, has to reveal the killer of a flawless homicide, with his newfound psychic power, before the murderer, who also possess such power, finds him first and kills him along with his family, in a run and chase in both sub-concious and physical world.
Good suggestion by DPG. I think combing psychic powers as a subject matter with a thriller genre is great - it sounds interesting. However, you need to integrate the psychic powers elements into the fabric of the story. DPG's rework is a good place to start, but I believe can be improved on. No offeRead more
Good suggestion by DPG.
I think combing psychic powers as a subject matter with a thriller genre is great – it sounds interesting. However, you need to integrate the psychic powers elements into the fabric of the story. DPG’s rework is a good place to start, but I believe can be improved on.
No offense DPG, lots of respect for you and you know it!
How about him having murderous urges himself. He uses his psychic powers to find the best victim for his first kill, but discovers someone else is like him. Then once in the other student’s twisted mind he sees how bad it is, and undergoes a fundamental change as a person – he now feels the need to protect people from the killer and goes after him. This gives you a mid act 2 reversal combined with a powerful inner journey to overcome a major character flaw.
For example:
See lessAfter a psychic sociopath witnesses visions of a brutal murder in a fellow high school student’s mind, he feels compelled to protect the intended victims by stopping the killer.