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Female Security Guards coerced into helping commit a massive terrorist attack are torn between protecting their loved ones and National Security.
In future please post revisions of the same concept in the original thread. It's a better way to track the evolution of a concept, and provides a better overview of the comments already given. The fundamental logic at the base of this concept seems flawed. Once a person admits to being a terrorist tRead more
In future please post revisions of the same concept in the original thread. It’s a better way to track the evolution of a concept, and provides a better overview of the comments already given.
The fundamental logic at the base of this concept seems flawed.
Once a person admits to being a terrorist they lose all credibility, as such nothing they say can be trusted – cooperation of any kind is inexcusable.
See lessIn the wake of recent terrorist attacks, four female security guards are ruthlessly coerced to help carry out one of America’s deadliest assaults; one that has the potential to hurt or even kill tens of thousands.
Agreed with the above comments.I'll add by questioning the mention of gender. Both men and women are equally capable, so is their gender of any relevance to the plot?I know many people are becoming aware of gender in film and TV now, but as loglines go unless the gender has a direct impact on the acRead more
Agreed with the above comments.
I’ll add by questioning the mention of gender. Both men and women are equally capable, so is their gender of any relevance to the plot?
I know many people are becoming aware of gender in film and TV now, but as loglines go unless the gender has a direct impact on the actions it is a redundant description – you wouldn’t have specified male if it was a man. Specifying the lead as female comes across as an attempt to jump on an industry female lead trend, instead of writing a story that requires a female lead.?No problem having the MC be a woman, but that can be implied by the use of ‘her’ or ‘she’.?
Otherwise is there a better description you can use, one that could illustrate the MC’s flaw perhaps??
And for the record:
NO, I AM NOT APPOSE TO GENDER EQUALITY. NO, I AM NOT APPOSED TO FEMALE LEAD ROLES. YES, I WOULD HAVE ASKED THE SAME SHOULD THE DESCRIPTION HAVE BEEN MALE. YES, I AM WRITING A FEMALE LEAD ROLE SHOW MYSELF!!!
So hold off on chauvinist accusations.
This is purely an objective critique of a potentially redundant description just like any other.
P.S
See lessSorry, only it seems as if now day and age this kind of comment needs such a qualifier…
A high school senior in love with his best friend seeks to redeem himself to her and his friends after neglecting them in the depression of losing them when they all go their separate ways.
Agreed with DPG. Also, the wording is confusing, try to streamline the logline so it describes only the major events in the order they occur.
Agreed with DPG.
Also, the wording is confusing, try to streamline the logline so it describes only the major events in the order they occur.
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