Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A single mother wakes up one morning having forgotten the past 16 years and the circumstances of her husband’s disappearance. While she tries to find him, a vengeful cop implicates her for a murder.
The age of the MC can be dropped as it has no bearing on the plot. Her refusal to recognise her son is not relevant to the A plot, as it may be a B plot it can also be dropped from the logline. The logline is too long, aim at 25-30 words. The logline is still missing an inciting incident - why MUSTRead more
The age of the MC can be dropped as it has no bearing on the plot.
Her refusal to recognise her son is not relevant to the A plot, as it may be a B plot it can also be dropped from the logline.
The logline is too long, aim at 25-30 words.
The logline is still missing an inciting incident – why MUST she find the father of her son? What happened that made it a MUST do or die goal for her?
If she’s unaware of the murder investigation that means it will not be seen from her dramatic point of view. This implies that there is another character that will take center stage part way through the story, this will necessitate a big shift of dramatic point of view from the MC – the woman, to another one. Such a big shift normally doesn’t work 95% of films that? try this fail. I strongly suggest you re consider her story is her esca[ing the cops or proving her innocents the main story if so re structure the logline around it, if not cut it and focus on the mother, son and father relationships. Point is, focus the story around one primary plot, and subsequently draft a logline to reflect this – you need not mention the additional subplots in the logline.
See lessAn amnesiac woman and her son reconstruct the past 15 years of her life, unaware of a murder investigation closing in on her.
Agreed with DPG and Knightrider, good potential but the logline is suffering from structural problems. The concept needs more clarification as to the start - incitng incident, and end - goal, of the plot. Why MUST they figure this out now and what MUST they achieve by the end of the story?
Agreed with DPG and Knightrider, good potential but the logline is suffering from structural problems.
The concept needs more clarification as to the start – incitng incident, and end – goal, of the plot.
See lessWhy MUST they figure this out now and what MUST they achieve by the end of the story?
When an emotionally detached woman returns home after a decade of uncontrollable jumps into parallel universes, she must reconnect with her estranged father to create a cure before vanishing once again.
Kind of a re work of Quantum Leep. This concept could work today, but the logline needs work itself - it's too long, and describes the inciting incident at the end. The plot is what she does after she gets back home for the first time in many years - this was the out of the ordinary event. What is hRead more
Kind of a re work of Quantum Leep. This concept could work today, but the logline needs work itself – it’s too long, and describes the inciting incident at the end.
The plot is what she does after she gets back home for the first time in many years – this was the out of the ordinary event. What is her goal then? Does she have a day to figure out how to stop her curse before falling asleep again? If so best to mention it in detail. Writing that she “…must learn to control her abilities …” is less clear and doesn’t imply as much an urgency as ; must learn how to stop moving between universes before falling asleep again.
See less