1. Posted: September 5, 2016In:

    When their two best friends suddenly die, an adventurous wife and risk-averse husband discover in the will that they must scatter the ashes in a remote Italian village, propelling them on a European road trip that will challenge their relationship.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Road movies are?a long standing tradition as they, in my mind, emulate the inner journeys of the character in physical form. They provide a sense of adventure via movement, in almost a synesthetic?like cross over between the external sensation of moving and the internal sense of learning. The characRead more

    Road movies are?a long standing tradition as they, in my mind, emulate the inner journeys of the character in physical form. They provide a sense of adventure via movement, in almost a synesthetic?like cross over between the external sensation of moving and the internal sense of learning. The characters, and by proxy the plot, feel better paced as they move forward not just in a literal sense, but also as part of a developmental process.

    This works best when a journey has at least one logically compelling reason for the characters to go from A to B. The subplots that arise, the complications that come about and ultimately the inner journeys are elevated as a result of being imbued with the forward momentum of the compelling outer physical journey.

    However, in this concept I fail to see what the compelling aspect i. It was written in the will of a friend – this isn’t enough.

    I think it’s safe to say you want to write a road trip movie across Europe.
    Working back from this assumption, I can suggest a few other reasons to send a couple on a road trip:
    1) One of them has a few months to live, but they discover a child he or she has that they never met before. As they are afraid of flying or can’t afford to fly, they head out on the road to meet the child before it’s too late.

    2) One of their parents left one of them when they were children, now the parent has a week to live so they take off on a trip to meet them before they die.

    3) One of them is given a condition in a last will and testament – in order?to get the family castle or fortune,?they must visit all the villages their father had fought in during WW2 accross Europe, and apologies to the residents in his name.

    Point is, I believe that the possibilities for the premise have not been explored enough yet and there are many you could use.

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  2. Posted: September 6, 2016In:

    Obsessed with exposing the private shenanigans of public figures, a betrayed,poisoned and left-to-die anonymous newspaper columnist and voyeur,shrinks instead,witnesses a murder and must get to the police before he’s caught again.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    There is a lot of detail mentioned in the logline, but it's very hard to gauge what the plot is. I suggest cutting everything before "...whiteness a murder...", as this is the inciting incident and all the rest is backstory. After he witnesses a murder, what becomes his goal? From the logline it's tRead more

    There is a lot of detail mentioned in the logline, but it’s very hard to gauge what the plot is. I suggest cutting everything before “…whiteness a murder…”, as this is the inciting incident and all the rest is backstory. After he witnesses a murder, what becomes his goal? From the logline it’s to alert the authorities.

    Seeing as that is the case, what is his obstacle? Why can’t he alert the authorities?

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  3. Posted: September 4, 2016In:

    When their best friend suddenly dies, an aging couple must go on a road trip to scatter his ashes and rediscover happiness.

    Neer Shelter Singularity

    Agreed with the above comments. Also I suggest re thinking the causal connection between the events and actions. Why MUST they go on a road trip? How does their friend's death influence them in this way? I believe there is room for subtle plots in film making, and this is a subtle plot or in HollywoRead more

    Agreed with the above comments.

    Also I suggest re thinking the causal connection between the events and actions. Why MUST they go on a road trip? How does their friend’s death influence them in this way?

    I believe there is room for subtle plots in film making, and this is a subtle plot or in Hollywood terms a low concept. However, it still needs to be built on solid logic, which steams from a cause and effect relationship between what happens to the characters and what they do.

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