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Nazi spy falls in love with her Allied Target and has 48 hours to rescue him before her sadistic team executes a plot that threatens them both.
Your explanation seems to lack an inciting incident - you said - "?if she does not make the decision to betray her family of spies?". The event that motivates her to betray her family of spies is the inciting incident, and needs to causally connect with her goal - to save the soldier. Secondly descrRead more
Your explanation seems to lack an inciting incident – you said – “?if she does not make the decision to betray her family of spies?”.
The event that motivates her to betray her family of spies is the inciting incident, and needs to causally connect with her goal – to save the soldier.
Secondly describing the stakes as “…a plot that threatens them both?” is too vague, best you describe the danger in detail – execution, made into medical examination subjects?or put in a death camp what ever they are clearer stakes are better.
See lessWhen the local sheriff is shot dead at an anti-violence summit, a retired FBI agent tries to take down a malevolent black rights activist in order to save his town on the brink of a race war.
Agreed with Moses99. In addition there seems to be a lack of personal stakes, can you add a stakes character perhaps to tie the action of stopping violence to the MC? I would also change the verb "?tries?" with "?must?", the action gains a sense of urgency this way.
Agreed with Moses99.
In addition there seems to be a lack of personal stakes, can you add a stakes character perhaps to tie the action of stopping violence to the MC?
I would also change the verb “?tries?” with “?must?”, the action gains a sense of urgency this way.
See lessWhen a teenage girl is refused by her school girlfriends for still being a virgin, she decides to commit suicide when a sex offender kidnaps her.
This is very confusing. Forget logline and genre, what does the girl want and why? Perhaps if you list these things we may be able to?help you put together a logline.
This is very confusing.
Forget logline and genre, what does the girl want and why?
Perhaps if you list these things we may be able to?help you put together a logline.
See less