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A reclusive but brilliant inventor takes on, and beats Thomas Edison in the race to electrify America, but loses his sanity and wealth along the way.
Yup, as soon as I read the logline I thought of several Tesla v Edison stories made already and others in the works - dem the brakes.
Yup, as soon as I read the logline I thought of several Tesla v Edison stories made already and others in the works – dem the brakes.
See lessA rebellious teen?s family goes missing. During her search for them, she uncovers a government conspiracy to end all religion.
Best to describe events in a logline - After her family disappear a teen must... As it's written (A rebellious teen's family goes missing) the inciting incident comes across as describing a situation already in play before the story begins. Also as previously mentioned best to describe a single cleaRead more
Best to describe events in a logline – After her family disappear a teen must…
As it’s written (A rebellious teen’s family goes missing) the inciting incident comes across as describing a situation already in play before the story begins. Also as previously mentioned best to describe a single clear goal what she plans to do about either her discovery or her family.
See lessDuring WWII, a segregated all Japanese Regimen, is forced to join forces with an all-Black Regimen on an impossible mission to save the racist General who trained them.
The wording complicates the read and makes the concept unclear.Also the stakes seem low, what's the worst that would happen should they fail? Is the general a mass murder killing at will? Or is he in control of nukes? There needs to be more than just a standard mission, it has to be an "or else" sitRead more
The wording complicates the read and makes the concept unclear.
Also the stakes seem low, what’s the worst that would happen should they fail?
See lessIs the general a mass murder killing at will? Or is he in control of nukes? There needs to be more than just a standard mission, it has to be an “or else” situation.