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A struggling rock band must fight through petty rivalries, a dickhead manager and the zombie apocalypse, saving their band and the world on their way to the top.
No need for ritual in this instance, zombies are a trope, best to jump into the action - how the good guys choose to fight them. The uniqueness of the action the main characters take to fight the zombies in a zombie flick is what will make it interesting. All the rest of the stuff; obnoxious managerRead more
No need for ritual in this instance, zombies are a trope, best to jump into the action – how the good guys choose to fight them. The uniqueness of the action the main characters take to fight the zombies in a zombie flick is what will make it interesting. All the rest of the stuff; obnoxious managers, love interest and inner group tensions are a given and need not be elaborated on in the logline.
My try:
After a zombie apocalypse a rock band discover their unique sound kills zombies they must now save humanity while climbing to the top of the charts.
26 words.
See lessRevised Logline….When a 12yr old robot obsessed girl learns she is a finalist in a National Robotics Championship she must convince her family to move interstate and prove to her Muslim father that she is worthy of his love by winning a scholarship.
The goals are confusing in this logline, which is her primary goal; make the family smile or winning the robotics contest? In my mind, seeing as the brother's death is described to be the inciting incident, the logical choice for a goal would be to make the family smile again. To that matter you canRead more
The goals are confusing in this logline, which is her primary goal; make the family smile or winning the robotics contest?
In my mind, seeing as the brother’s death is described to be the inciting incident, the logical choice for a goal would be to make the family smile again. To that matter you can drop the robotics contest goal all together, and use the resulting freed up logline real estate to describe her obstacle. Why can’t she build a robot? Or what is she going to struggle against when building the robot? I believe this will constitute most of your second act, and therefore her action in overcoming the challenge of building a robot needs to be clear.
See lessFormerly a gang member, when a gunfight paralyzes an aspiring cook’s hands, she resorts to preparing scalding-hot entrees with her feet to accomplish her dream of becoming a gourmet chef.
My Left Foot meets Ratatouille? Sounds like a?strange?plot device to use as a basis for drama, and in the context of the premise the backstory seems unrelated if not?redundant. I get that you're probably trying to setup the stakes - if she fails in cooking she may fall back into a life of crime, butRead more
My Left Foot meets Ratatouille?
Sounds like a?strange?plot device to use as a basis for drama, and in the context of the premise the backstory seems unrelated if not?redundant. I get that you’re probably trying to setup the stakes – if she fails in cooking she may fall back into a life of crime, but it seems to lack cohesion. In other words if she fails in cooking she can try her? foot at another profession one that would likely lend itself better to her particular condition. She could learn how to type with her feet, run walk-on bus tour guides or even learn to tap dance, so not does cooking only lack logic it also isn’t that big a deal really.
Then again I may be missing something, either way it isn’t coming through in the logline.
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