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A reluctant Witch rescues a repentant Witch hunter to save her family and investigate a conspiracy that could destroy Elizabethan England.
I think the subject matter is interesting and holds the potential for a large audience appeal. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell worked well, albeit not the same period, but similar subject matter. The aspect of her reluctance is a good character flaw - she learns to accept her true nature contrary toRead more
I think the subject matter is interesting and holds the potential for a large audience appeal. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell worked well, albeit not the same period, but similar subject matter.
The aspect of her reluctance is a good character flaw – she learns to accept her true nature contrary to the common christen beliefs of the time.
However I don’t believe that the logline is working well, not yet anyhow, and the main reason is the lack of clarity in the stakes. Why not be more specific, and say that the conspiracy is specifically against the royal family? ?I think you could take it one step further and make the witch her self a royal, only her lineage was kept under wraps once they discovered that it had Wicca genes in it.
This way you can elude to the fact that she is not only fighting to save the Royal family for the greater sake of the kingdom, but also tie in personal stakes – she’s fighting to save her own family.
Witches have traditionally been seen as evil, but that’s mostly a christian belief and you could paint them as people who really only want?to do good. However the narrow minded folk of the time, and the church which sees Witches as threats have branded them evil, therefore after the witch hunter learns the truth he decides to help her out.
Lastly I suggest adding in a narrative that deals with war, the spanish wars were a big thing during that?time. This can provide even great stakes as in order to win the war against Spain the MC must save the royal family or even help the english navy win a few battles.
Much of the above will come through in the synopsis as appose to the logline, as series are best pitched with the pilot.
See lessHere is my attempt:
After a witch hunter kills her mother a witch, in denial of her powers, must prove to?him that she?isn’t evil if she is to save the rest of her kin – the royal family of England.
An examination of sexual relationships, in which three protagonists interact in different combinations.
This logline lacks a main character description, however if it's an ensemble there needs to be a good reason for the multi protagonists that is justified in the plot.Other wise as Richieve wrote: What is the conflict?Who wants what and why?
This logline lacks a main character description, however if it’s an ensemble there needs to be a good reason for the multi protagonists that is justified in the plot.
Other wise as Richieve wrote: What is the conflict?
Who wants what and why?
See lessOskar, an overlooked and bullied boy, finds love and revenge through Eli, a beautiful but peculiar girl.
Agreed with the above comments.Also no need for the character's name in a logline unless it's a historical or biopic.Check out the Training tab on the top bar, there's more useful information there about logline best practice.
Agreed with the above comments.
Also no need for the character’s name in a logline unless it’s a historical or biopic.
Check out the Training tab on the top bar, there’s more useful information there about logline best practice.
See less