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  1. Posted: August 4, 2016In: Noir

    When a shy guy uses his lighter for the first time while talking to a pretty girl at a house party with dim lighting and strong winds outside the house, he must make a choice: is it lit, or isn’t it?

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 4, 2016 at 8:04 pm

    As Richieve said.What is the MC's goal? What is standing in his way to achieving it?

    As Richieve said.

    What is the MC’s goal?
    What is standing in his way to achieving it?

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  2. Posted: August 4, 2016In: Thriller

    Late afternoon August 18, 1966 South Vietnam – for three and a half hours, in the pouring rain, amid the mud and shattered trees of a rubber plantation called Long Tan, Major Harry Smith and his dispersed company of 108 young and mostly inexperienced Australian and New Zealand soldiers are fighting for their lives, holding off an overwhelming enemy force of 2,500 battle hardened Viet Cong and North Vietnamese soldiers.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 4, 2016 at 8:02 pm

    Please read the Training tab on the top bar and re post. Am sure you have a story in there somewhere, but it's hard to see it in the current draft of the logline. Aim your next draft as close as possible to 25 words.

    Please read the Training tab on the top bar and re post.

    Am sure you have a story in there somewhere, but it’s hard to see it in the current draft of the logline.

    Aim your next draft as close as possible to 25 words.

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  3. Posted: August 3, 2016In: Action

    ?In order to help create an international antiterrorism taskforce, the D. o. D. Director of Psychological Operations Dr. Samantha Ryan struggles to overcome her ex husband and the terrorists with whom he is associated.?

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on August 4, 2016 at 7:55 pm

    I'm not sure what Samantha's story is even after reading the lengthy list of plot points above.In short, what is it Samantha wants?What action does she take to get what she wants?P.S To help create an organisation is not a goal, you need to be more specific and describe a single visually clear goal.Read more

    I’m not sure what Samantha’s story is even after reading the lengthy list of plot points above.

    In short, what is it Samantha wants?

    What action does she take to get what she wants?

    P.S
    To help create an organisation is not a goal, you need to be more specific and describe a single visually clear goal.

    P.P.S
    Struggling to overcome her Ex is not an action, as it?is not external and visible.

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